Small Town Gay Boy Getting Out Into The World

I come from the proverbial small town in the Midwest, one bank, one stop light. After high school I had dreams of the big city, and left home and went out to LA. I had just enough to rent a room for a week at a motel and got a job through an agency as mover with a local moving company. I was assigned to Agustino, a Salvadorean, in his forties.

Agustino was gay, but it went over my head until he grabbed my crotch while my hands were busy with a piece of furniture. He laughed about it, but it embarrassed me. It also felt good, but I didn't tell him. On another occasion he ran his hand across my behind, and on another occasion he put his arm around my shoulders. I liked it, I won't pretend I didn't, but I was to ignorant to know what to do.

Agustino took me to his apartment. He stripped down to his briefs and it was obvious he had an erection. He was assertive and told me to come to him. He undid my belt and my zipper and took out my dick and sucked it. I let him, I liked it. When he put me on the bed with him, after taking off my shoes and pants and briefs, and started to make love to me. I laid there without moving, he had my dick in his hand and he was kissing me. I could feel his hard dick against me, and he got on top of me and started to part my legs under him. With my legs up in the air like a girl, he found my anus and poked until he got it in enough to start to fuck me. He fucked me until he ended and then kissed me for a minute.

All my embarrassment and guilt overcame me, but Agustino kept making love to me, kissing me and fucking me. I fought with the feelings I had, mostly how much I liked it. It was everything, from being kissed to being fucked, from sucking his dick to him masturbating me. Being naked with him in bed and letting him touch me. My mind played tricks on me, I excused it, at times I wondered whether I was gay or something. But as soon as Agustino touched me, I felt it run through me and I wanted him to kiss me.

It was Christmas and I went home to my family. Of course I didn't say anything. My uncle offered to send me to trade school, and I went to graphic art school in Cincinnati and worked part time at an art supply store. I sucked dick a lot there, the men who worked there were all gay and I was a boyfriend. By the time I had my certificate I had been with several men and was gay among them.

Back home it was far away from that scene, I moved to NY because I was hungry for action. Not the art world, the gay scene. The only way I could earn enough money was to become a boy toy for hire. Rich men liked young men, and as a young man I liked older rich men, and became the exclusive boy toy for rich old gay chiropractor. It was during that phase that I went all out and wore the tight pants and put on makeup and nails. I developed a lot of the gay boy attributes and had a hard time toning it down when I was out of character.

It was at a pizza parlor that I got busted. It was a set up and the pizza's had small plastic bags with product in them. I was accused of distributing, because I picked it up and intended to give them to my 'daddy' who then used them at parties, and since he paid me, I was on the hook for it. I was given probation because it was my first time, but it went with a solid dose of embarrassment and fear, the idea that my mother would find out froze me.

I left NY and moved back home and worked for a sign company. I kept my urges hidden and stayed clean for a long while. I'm forty now and live in Cincinnati and have a network of gay men that I socialize with. But no one is out there and it's a quiet group, everyone is employed and serious. Not quite Agustino, or the times in NY, but I have a close friend that I make love with. It's more of a friends with benefits, but we get along fine and enjoy each other's company.