Straight Male / 21
Losing My Virginity
So last week I lost my virginity in a very impulsive way. So for context of my love life before this, I never had luck with girls in school and I always got rejected by my crushes so I never had a proper relationship and felt like my time to stop being a virgin had left and I was a loser.
A few months ago in my job I befriended one of my coworkers, Gabi, we got along complaining about pay and life and other coworkers, typical coworker friendship, but one day she gave me her number which made me think that maybe I still have a chance to not be a virgin loser and enjoy a relationship for once. I never texted her anything not work related though since she's older than me (37) and didn't want to weird her out with some dumb reference or topic.
Our relationship stayed like that until last month when she asked me out for coffee out the blue. I was pretty excited since I had developed a lot of feelings towards her and wanted to demonstrate that to her that it could work, and seeing she was interested in me got me thinking about not being overly affectionate and take it easy. But the day off she kept mentioning how we're just coworkers or how we're just friends whenever a topic would be about relationships or about plans for the future or a vacation, we did talk a lot and connected pretty well which made the constant rejection feel worse specially because I felt like I hadn't even begin to her show my feelings, not even in that date but ever. Recently I felt like I wanted to make my feelings clear even if I got rejected again just to get it out of me so I asked her out, she didn't even respond. (Realistically it's December and she got busy with work and holidays but I wasn't thinking about that).
Frustrated over how I felt about her and the one sided rejection when I couldn't even get to confess my feelings for her I wrote her a pretty lengthy confession and decided to not wait any longer and lose my virginity already since I felt this wasn't going anywhere.
I messaged a few escorts that I saw online and decided to lose my virginity with the first one that responded. (Really immature and impulsive, I know, but I was really frustrated with my love life and this felt like the last straw). And so I went to this asian massage parlor got in and lost my virginity to one of the ladies there, go be honest it could have been worse.
I got on a cheapish mattress and u dressed then the girl came in, the ad said she was 26 but if she was in her thirties I wouldn't doubt it, she undress as well, we kissed for a bit, she didn't say much, it felt very matter of fact like obviously there's no connection, and even though she has experience I don't and she has no reason to have sex with any interest or motivation, she's getting paid anyway. It wasn't bad, her pussy felt tight and wet her boobs were soft but a little saggy we didn't gave me any stds I guess.
If the story ended here I probably would just feel done with everything and not even think about sex and love and relationships ever again. But then as soon as I get home from losing my virginity, Gabi responded to me after not saying anything in days, and says she is interested in me and didn't meant to reject me and she's just a bit conflicted about dating me because we're still coworkers. All stuff that should make me feel validated and happy that I might be in a romantic relationship all feels bitter because the reason I threw my virginity away wasn't even real and it's just because I couldn't take being rejected again, I'll never remember losing my virginity as anything but a reminder that I don't deserve a nice relationship because I'm too childish and impulsive to just wait for a fucking text message.
A few months ago in my job I befriended one of my coworkers, Gabi, we got along complaining about pay and life and other coworkers, typical coworker friendship, but one day she gave me her number which made me think that maybe I still have a chance to not be a virgin loser and enjoy a relationship for once. I never texted her anything not work related though since she's older than me (37) and didn't want to weird her out with some dumb reference or topic.
Our relationship stayed like that until last month when she asked me out for coffee out the blue. I was pretty excited since I had developed a lot of feelings towards her and wanted to demonstrate that to her that it could work, and seeing she was interested in me got me thinking about not being overly affectionate and take it easy. But the day off she kept mentioning how we're just coworkers or how we're just friends whenever a topic would be about relationships or about plans for the future or a vacation, we did talk a lot and connected pretty well which made the constant rejection feel worse specially because I felt like I hadn't even begin to her show my feelings, not even in that date but ever. Recently I felt like I wanted to make my feelings clear even if I got rejected again just to get it out of me so I asked her out, she didn't even respond. (Realistically it's December and she got busy with work and holidays but I wasn't thinking about that).
Frustrated over how I felt about her and the one sided rejection when I couldn't even get to confess my feelings for her I wrote her a pretty lengthy confession and decided to not wait any longer and lose my virginity already since I felt this wasn't going anywhere.
I messaged a few escorts that I saw online and decided to lose my virginity with the first one that responded. (Really immature and impulsive, I know, but I was really frustrated with my love life and this felt like the last straw). And so I went to this asian massage parlor got in and lost my virginity to one of the ladies there, go be honest it could have been worse.
I got on a cheapish mattress and u dressed then the girl came in, the ad said she was 26 but if she was in her thirties I wouldn't doubt it, she undress as well, we kissed for a bit, she didn't say much, it felt very matter of fact like obviously there's no connection, and even though she has experience I don't and she has no reason to have sex with any interest or motivation, she's getting paid anyway. It wasn't bad, her pussy felt tight and wet her boobs were soft but a little saggy we didn't gave me any stds I guess.
If the story ended here I probably would just feel done with everything and not even think about sex and love and relationships ever again. But then as soon as I get home from losing my virginity, Gabi responded to me after not saying anything in days, and says she is interested in me and didn't meant to reject me and she's just a bit conflicted about dating me because we're still coworkers. All stuff that should make me feel validated and happy that I might be in a romantic relationship all feels bitter because the reason I threw my virginity away wasn't even real and it's just because I couldn't take being rejected again, I'll never remember losing my virginity as anything but a reminder that I don't deserve a nice relationship because I'm too childish and impulsive to just wait for a fucking text message.
- That's Juicy! 12
- Remove It! 10
