Not Over Him

I saw him again, at our family’s party. The man who took my virginity when I was a teen. I remember that summer day blushing over him. Charismatic friend of my mom’s, playing in the pool with us. I was teasing him, one thing led to another. My mom had stepped out, his daughter stepped out with her bf soon after. He was rubbing me at the edge of the pool. Two fingers where they shouldn’t have been. Gradually making me hotter, soft tension through his eyes. Then his tongue soft and wet, velvety. It was making me dizzy, forgetting where I was. Shaking, everything was happening so fast. Do you want more love? Yes, not realizing he was about to enter me. I wanted everything. His huge body over me, stretching me slowly. It hurt, everything was inside. We kissed and kissed. I was shaking again. The concrete is too rough love. He picks me up, plants me inside standing up. Good girl, you’re so warm. It was my first time being so close to a man. Intoxicating, the making of my daddy kink. Up and down, up and down. Pop pop pop, what are these sounds? I feel stretched, I’m shivering again. We collapse, talk about each other. I want to keep riding, we hear my mother again. Forgot my purse can you believe this guys? Where’s the others? They’ll be back soon! What a surprise, let’s finish love. I gave him everything till he finished on my back. But it was a one and done. I wanted more and he stopped coming around. Now he shows up with his gf, and I’m upset. I’ve been single for years fantasizing a return that never happened. Now that I’m married he’s here? I run out, I hope to avoid him like he did me. My husband and I leave without explanation. My insides tingle, am I running away? Or am I avoiding the inevitable?