Of Course I Liked It

Growing up I was exposed to sex by reading novels. First love affair novels and later the ones that my grandmother read. I read about passion. I dreamed about being that character in the novel, about being overwhelmed by the man in the novel. But my dreams never went physical, I didn't masturbate.

I finished my high school and went off to the local college for my degree in business and then went to work for the distribution center out by the interstate. I had outgrown my grandmother's novels and read more sophisticated stuff and kept company with other women. I didn't keep company with a man, not in high school, not in college and not after I went to work.

We talked a lot about things that are in women's lives, but we never talked about passion, or sex, or anything else. Although from small hints, or slips of the tongue, it was apparent to me that several of my women's friends put up with their husbands or their boyfriends. But never was the word passion used.

I was turning 35 and I was at that time the supervisor of my section. The women in the department took me to lunch and the talk was all about their kids and housework. We did not talk about work then. Not until I was riding back with one of my coworkers and she asked me if I knew about Devon. No, I told her, who is Devon? She stopped the car in a strip center, and she told me Devon had used her. I said what did she mean by 'used'. You know he jumped her. No I didn't know what she meant by him 'jumping' her. 'OK', she said, frustrated, he 'fucked' her. Why did I make her say that? It was bad enough that it happened, saying it was worse.

No he didn't 'r**e' her, he jumped her back in the warehouse. Got her over a box of product and he had his way with her. I wanted to know the details, like in the novels, the minute by minute details. I questioned her and she told me, even told me how he held her down and 'stuck his dick right in her'. Yes she was embarrassed, she had two kids (divorced). She was scared that she was pregnant.

I needed details, the nitty gritty details. What she felt when he had his 'way' with her, although i wanted her to use the word 'fucked' her. Tell me how it feels. I told her I had never had that happen. I didn't know, so educate me. What's it like, when a man jumps you. Between breaths and excuses she told me that it's not right, but sure it felt good. She hadn't had a man on her for a long time. It felt good to have a mean tear into her. She was sorry I had never experienced it.

She set me up with Devon. Set me up for him to go after me. It was that same Friday evening when we went out again for my birthday. Devon showed up. I recognized him but didn't know that was his name. Somehow I ended up sitting by Devon in the booth. Somehow Devon got his hand on my leg and wouldn't take his hand away. Somehow I was left alone with Devon in the booth at the end of the meal. He got his hand up between my legs and fingered me through my panties. When I twisted away from him, he got his hand up my dress and fingered my butt. He pulled me back by the hair, pulled me out of the booth and walked me out to his car.

Forcibly sitting me in the seat he pulled the seatbelt around me and kissed me square on the mouth while he squished my boob with the other hand. It's not r**e I told myself as he drove down the highway and then off the highway and down the feeder to this street and then off into a neighborhood I didn't know. It isn't r**e I told myself. It's passion.

When he dropped me off back at my apartment he kept my panties. A war souvenir.

The following day my work friend called me and asked me how it went. I gave her every little detail of how I remembered it. Was it worth it, she asked me. Did I like it?

I didn't answer, I took the roundabout way answering her, I never said I liked it. I remember it, every little detail of it. But Devon is her man now, so why even think about it.