When Nature Comes Calling You Can't Out Think It, My Hormones Own Me

As a teen I was already liberated. I was both a successful athlete and academic student. I went to a respected university on a full ride scholarship. I double majored, followed my undergrad with an MBA in Chicago. I joined a respected consulting firm, and was recruited into a prestigious corporation. I bought my condo when I was 28.

Then why am I here, writing this. Because one day I was being assertive in a meeting and our boss brought me to heel with a look. I sat there with my tail between my legs angry and hurt. My coworker kidded me later, 'and you thought the patriarchy was over'.

Other examples, taking 'my place' in the right seat, keeping my mouth shut until given the go ahead, a man had me cornered and I didn't dare disappoint him. A meeting, like many others and another woman served him a piece of coffee cake and a cup of coffee. My chest hurt so bad, my heart was on overdrive, I had never experienced such jealousy.

A kitty cat couldn't have behaved more silly. I was Suzy on the spot for him. I woke up thinking of him. I went to bed playing out ever more absurd scenarios. The man is married. But nothing mattered, a lion has more than one lioness, and I was his lioness, ready to stop everything and accept my position. When he looked down the table, he would be surveying his women and his children. And I would be there, along with his wife, at the table with my children I gave him.

I died inside when he told me "I'm married, what are you thinking?"