Lesbian Female / 41
Pent Up Sexual Frustration
If you are uneasy with real life, then move on.
By real life, I'm talking about what actually happens, not the poet's version. I was born female, in 1984. I was raised in a home that had purpose. All my life I was indoctrinated with my purpose. Grow up, find a husband, have children.
I broke from that later in college when I decided that I would not marry the chosen one, and pursue a graduate degree. This caused a break with my mother that has never healed. I decided after my Master's to pursue a doctorate in my field. That's when my father put his foot down. No husband, no money. I married a guy from my master's program, he married me for the money. I was never in love with him. But I have two children.
Of the two of us I bring home the money. He is a part time adjunct professor. It's an inverted marriage, and not what my mother ever wanted for me. At forty I flirted with another woman, gave into it and broke it off because it was leading my marriage to ruin. It drove a break with my husband. We are together for the children, and he is together for the money.
In sum, I am totally sexually frustrated. I never had any satisfaction with my husband. It was always, at best, bad acting. My short affair with that woman was my first ever sexual release, I really got off to it. Multiple orgasms. Looking forward to sex. I masturbate myself in the shower. I don't use any penetrating toys, it's clitoral stimulation. I don't want a 'dick' in me. I want a hot tongue licking me. Two breasts, a pretty face, a slit between her legs. That's what turns me on. A beard, big shoulders, a dick do nothing for me.
By real life, I'm talking about what actually happens, not the poet's version. I was born female, in 1984. I was raised in a home that had purpose. All my life I was indoctrinated with my purpose. Grow up, find a husband, have children.
I broke from that later in college when I decided that I would not marry the chosen one, and pursue a graduate degree. This caused a break with my mother that has never healed. I decided after my Master's to pursue a doctorate in my field. That's when my father put his foot down. No husband, no money. I married a guy from my master's program, he married me for the money. I was never in love with him. But I have two children.
Of the two of us I bring home the money. He is a part time adjunct professor. It's an inverted marriage, and not what my mother ever wanted for me. At forty I flirted with another woman, gave into it and broke it off because it was leading my marriage to ruin. It drove a break with my husband. We are together for the children, and he is together for the money.
In sum, I am totally sexually frustrated. I never had any satisfaction with my husband. It was always, at best, bad acting. My short affair with that woman was my first ever sexual release, I really got off to it. Multiple orgasms. Looking forward to sex. I masturbate myself in the shower. I don't use any penetrating toys, it's clitoral stimulation. I don't want a 'dick' in me. I want a hot tongue licking me. Two breasts, a pretty face, a slit between her legs. That's what turns me on. A beard, big shoulders, a dick do nothing for me.
