Lesbian Female / 32
How To Choose When You Love Them Both
Have you ever stood on a street corner not knowing where to turn? That's me. One way is the straight and narrow, straight is the operative word. The other is the gay side. I have tried both, to see which one suits me better. I like the gay side for fun, and party, dance and all that. But for Sunday morning before church I like the straight side. With a man in his arms when the sun comes up.
The man who invites me over is a bit older than me and has two kids 15 and 17 from his wife. She walked off the roof one day and that shut him down for a long time, till he met me. I've been playing house with him, doing what I can to make him feel there is a woman in the house. I get along fine with his kids, but they feel weird that I am like a stepmother to them. He turned a new life after his wife took her walk, for the kids. Church and PTA and all that. He has asked me to be there for them, home cooking, spoiling them after school. It's weird, I'm not that much older than them. When the kids introduce me to their friends, it's like "my stepmom, weird".
If I get married, and I say if, is because I know that once I get married he will want to put my feet in cement with a couple of kids. He talks about it and so do his kids. They gang up on me, come on, give us one, don't be selfish. It gets to me, makes me feel guilty. I don't tell them and never talk about my gay side. If they found out I'm sure that would be the end of stepmom.
I need my gay side, dance with a pretty girl, sit with her and hold her hand and go nose to nose. I truly love making love with a girl, it's my favorite form of lovemaking. When you made love, and you are quiet and the fan is overhead, and you are laying there all naked holding hands, you can imagine it, it is magic knowing that pretty girl is by your side. I can't ask her to make the choice, it has to be mine. Do I go for the gold ring, or the dancing mare who makes my heart race. You see, I love her, always have. I love her so much I could die.
But now I have a man in my life, one that wants me there with him. He has two sons that want me to be their mother full time. And make a little sister or two for them. I love them too. I never had a chance to be a mother before. It makes me feel full, makes me feel like a woman should.
That is why I am at the corner of Straight and Narrow and Gay.
Ana Olivares Luna
The man who invites me over is a bit older than me and has two kids 15 and 17 from his wife. She walked off the roof one day and that shut him down for a long time, till he met me. I've been playing house with him, doing what I can to make him feel there is a woman in the house. I get along fine with his kids, but they feel weird that I am like a stepmother to them. He turned a new life after his wife took her walk, for the kids. Church and PTA and all that. He has asked me to be there for them, home cooking, spoiling them after school. It's weird, I'm not that much older than them. When the kids introduce me to their friends, it's like "my stepmom, weird".
If I get married, and I say if, is because I know that once I get married he will want to put my feet in cement with a couple of kids. He talks about it and so do his kids. They gang up on me, come on, give us one, don't be selfish. It gets to me, makes me feel guilty. I don't tell them and never talk about my gay side. If they found out I'm sure that would be the end of stepmom.
I need my gay side, dance with a pretty girl, sit with her and hold her hand and go nose to nose. I truly love making love with a girl, it's my favorite form of lovemaking. When you made love, and you are quiet and the fan is overhead, and you are laying there all naked holding hands, you can imagine it, it is magic knowing that pretty girl is by your side. I can't ask her to make the choice, it has to be mine. Do I go for the gold ring, or the dancing mare who makes my heart race. You see, I love her, always have. I love her so much I could die.
But now I have a man in my life, one that wants me there with him. He has two sons that want me to be their mother full time. And make a little sister or two for them. I love them too. I never had a chance to be a mother before. It makes me feel full, makes me feel like a woman should.
That is why I am at the corner of Straight and Narrow and Gay.
Ana Olivares Luna
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