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Women Only
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Lesbian Female / 37
The Improbable Happened And I'm Sucked Up In A Tornado
For the record I am a 37 year old out lesbian corporate attorney. I have a steady girlfriend, who is a little bit too young for me. I was at a get together for the 75th birthday of a relative and ran into a man from my childhood. One thing here, then another. He is overbearing, masculine, imposing male authority. He has no time for the woke or the gay community. When I told him I was lesbian and to keep his distance, he said 'bullshit' and proceeded to fuck me.
Now I'm pregnant.
Financial responsibility comes with expectations. I have set limits, he has broken all of them. I'm not used to a man telling me things. He wants, means do it. Access means access, and when I refuse I get a lecture. I give in. I get angry with myself afterwards. I'm going on 26 weeks. I gave into his demands for not ending it and delivering his baby to him. I am not who I was and this is not me. He has reorganized my place, to make it more suitable for him. Read, he has redecorated my place to his liking. Including a big ass tv and two large recliners.
My girlfriend is hanging on, listening to me bitch about him. I have no answers for her about why I can't walk away from him. When he calls I watch the phone ring four or five times before picking up, but always pick up, I'm scared of rejecting him. I recognize the type, he is a lot like my father. Maybe straight women don't have a problem, but lesbian women do. But to him lesbian is bullshit, so it doesn't matter.
I have a friend, a lesbian who went through something similar, she attributes it to hormones and protecting my baby by ensuring the baby has a responsible father. She has never totally left the man that impregnated her, and she offers little hope that I will later. Adapt, bend to him, keep him in close, and make sure the baby has a father. To grow up like I did, with an overbearing male figure. But no guarantees that this baby will be lesbian. Maybe she will grow up and feel that's what a man is.
In the meantime I will continue to twirl this ring on my finger. He put it on me and I don't dare take it off. I've tried, I can't. And I feel angry about it.
Now I'm pregnant.
Financial responsibility comes with expectations. I have set limits, he has broken all of them. I'm not used to a man telling me things. He wants, means do it. Access means access, and when I refuse I get a lecture. I give in. I get angry with myself afterwards. I'm going on 26 weeks. I gave into his demands for not ending it and delivering his baby to him. I am not who I was and this is not me. He has reorganized my place, to make it more suitable for him. Read, he has redecorated my place to his liking. Including a big ass tv and two large recliners.
My girlfriend is hanging on, listening to me bitch about him. I have no answers for her about why I can't walk away from him. When he calls I watch the phone ring four or five times before picking up, but always pick up, I'm scared of rejecting him. I recognize the type, he is a lot like my father. Maybe straight women don't have a problem, but lesbian women do. But to him lesbian is bullshit, so it doesn't matter.
I have a friend, a lesbian who went through something similar, she attributes it to hormones and protecting my baby by ensuring the baby has a responsible father. She has never totally left the man that impregnated her, and she offers little hope that I will later. Adapt, bend to him, keep him in close, and make sure the baby has a father. To grow up like I did, with an overbearing male figure. But no guarantees that this baby will be lesbian. Maybe she will grow up and feel that's what a man is.
In the meantime I will continue to twirl this ring on my finger. He put it on me and I don't dare take it off. I've tried, I can't. And I feel angry about it.
