Why Me?

My wife and I have an open relationship, it was her idea but I find it arousing and go along with it. It usually starts with me watching her getting dressed for another cock. Neither my wife or myself know who it's going to be but she's a fine looking woman who rarely fails to attract attention. When I see another man undressing her I'm filled with a combination of jealousy and excitement. It robs me of my masculinity and alpha status and usually I'm left to give in to my weakness and masterbate as he exposes her tits, her pussy and then finally I'm degraded by him entering her. I find it such a turn on and then the realization he's fucking her makes me angry and intensely jealous but my pleasure takes over and I passively let it happen. She say's it's my submissiveness nature that she loves the most. When she's done with him we play a game of did he or didn't he which consists of her sitting on my cock and I have to guess whether he's ejaculated in her or not. I couldn't tell you how many sloppy seconds I have had over the years. On the occasions when it's obvious I've had a lick and find this a turn on too. Well that's my confession but why do I do this? I may never know.