The Wolf

I was sitting across from him, I was on one side of the table, he was on the other side. Safe place. He kept looking at me, I became uncomfortable. He moved his eyes to my chest. I got even more uncomfortable. He went back to my eyes. I felt smaller and smaller, I looked for the door, it was open, but I had to snap my eyes back to his.

I knew as I was sitting there that things would not end well. I said a short prayer. He asked me what I had just said. I went through all the scenarios I could imagine. Was he going to lock the door, could I get to the telephone, what if I screamed. I was going crazy in my head. His eyes were relentless, I didn't dare shift my eyes.

He stood, his hands on the table, looking down on me. Oh God, please help me, make him be quick. I wasn't so much scared of losing my virginity, as I was of getting pregnant. Twenty years old, and now my time had come. Please be gentle, escaped from my mouth. What? He yelled at me.

He walked me out of the room, his arm around my shoulders, my head fell on his shoulder, he kissed my forehead, Oh God. I was so embarrassed. Why did I put my arm around his waist? as he walked me to my car. Why did I stand there like I did? waiting for a kiss. He tapped my nose with his finger, a teeny tiny kiss on the lips. You're pretty, he told me, and helped me get my seatbelt on.

I drove back to my apartment, missed my afternoon class. I knew that I had over reacted, I felt embarrassed all by myself. Why did I act that way? Why did I say that in his ear, Oh God, help me. Did he hear me, did I say it out loud?

I love you.