Lost Interest In Me Long Ago

As far as my spouse actually ex She or I never remarried, luckily for me anyway due to a fertility issue on my part never had kids, she never moved On I wish she had i think she would have been a wonderful mother. Me I think would have been a lousy father, she never knew i liked men also if she did does the name Elana Bobbit mean anything ouch I guess where this is leading I pretty much am racked with guilt and just needed to get it off my chest