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Women Only
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Bi-Sexual Female / 37
Coming To Terms With It, I Am Not Sand In The Wind
Right after college, I have a degree in Social Services, I worked in Phoenix. A Navajo woman told me that in the old days women gave men their assholes to keep from getting pregnant. That didn't mean that men didn't fuck them and get them pregnant. It was their only way to keep a husband and not have kids when they didn't want to. Needless to say I was very taken by her story and had to check it out, and sure enough giving up your ass was and is a form of birth control.
When I was 26 I went on a trip to Central America to bring birth control and information to poor women. My American attitudes and not being able to speak Spanish really hampered me, but mostly my frustration. Women wanted their men to fuck them, ass or vagina, whatever they wanted. Getting pregnant was bad luck, but not anything that kept them from letting the men r**e them. A man that didn't r**e his woman wasn't a man anyway, only 'maricones', queers, didn't r**e their women. My man is a 'cabron', a male ram, and when he fucks her she knows she's his woman. They never said wife, 'mujer'. I am his woman.
I left more frustrated and went back to the Navajo woman and we talked. She told me 'you white women have it backwards'. A woman without a man is nothing, sand in the wind. I needed to find a man to fuck me. I said that I wasn't going to ever let a man fuck me. Then you are sand in the wind.
I had my share of short term girlfriends and one day I ran into a man at the bar in a restaurant. He fucked me, r**ed me. I fought, but he overpowered me, and pulled my pants off and stuck his dirty dick in me. I was out and out r**e by any measure. But he owned me after that r**e. And r**ed me over and over and over until I voluntarily went to him and let him have sex with me. See, my Navajo friend told me, now you are his woman.
I told him that if he was going to continue having sex with me 'like that' he should marry me and then he would own me and could do whatever he wanted with me. I was willing to cook and clean and if he wanted me pregnant, then so be it. But I needed closure, I was his woman, but I needed a ring and a signed marriage license. I needed the paper.
I wasn't going to end up my life as sand in the wind. He married me, and I got pregnant and cooked and cleaned, and when he wanted sex he had sex. If I refused he would r**e me anyway, and I was his woman and he was a 'cabron'. I was his 'mujer'. I understood now what that meant, I didn't need to speak Spanish. I thought hard about giving him anal as a form of birth control, but I couldn't. I turned over on my back and offered him my vagina. I would rather have another baby.
As a social worker I run into women of all sorts. The worst are alone and getting older. They haven't got the message. No man, no children, they are sand in the wind. My husband can r**e me all he wants. I am not sand in the wind. I'm his woman, and happen to also be his wife. I am his 'mujer' and he fucks me.
When I was 26 I went on a trip to Central America to bring birth control and information to poor women. My American attitudes and not being able to speak Spanish really hampered me, but mostly my frustration. Women wanted their men to fuck them, ass or vagina, whatever they wanted. Getting pregnant was bad luck, but not anything that kept them from letting the men r**e them. A man that didn't r**e his woman wasn't a man anyway, only 'maricones', queers, didn't r**e their women. My man is a 'cabron', a male ram, and when he fucks her she knows she's his woman. They never said wife, 'mujer'. I am his woman.
I left more frustrated and went back to the Navajo woman and we talked. She told me 'you white women have it backwards'. A woman without a man is nothing, sand in the wind. I needed to find a man to fuck me. I said that I wasn't going to ever let a man fuck me. Then you are sand in the wind.
I had my share of short term girlfriends and one day I ran into a man at the bar in a restaurant. He fucked me, r**ed me. I fought, but he overpowered me, and pulled my pants off and stuck his dirty dick in me. I was out and out r**e by any measure. But he owned me after that r**e. And r**ed me over and over and over until I voluntarily went to him and let him have sex with me. See, my Navajo friend told me, now you are his woman.
I told him that if he was going to continue having sex with me 'like that' he should marry me and then he would own me and could do whatever he wanted with me. I was willing to cook and clean and if he wanted me pregnant, then so be it. But I needed closure, I was his woman, but I needed a ring and a signed marriage license. I needed the paper.
I wasn't going to end up my life as sand in the wind. He married me, and I got pregnant and cooked and cleaned, and when he wanted sex he had sex. If I refused he would r**e me anyway, and I was his woman and he was a 'cabron'. I was his 'mujer'. I understood now what that meant, I didn't need to speak Spanish. I thought hard about giving him anal as a form of birth control, but I couldn't. I turned over on my back and offered him my vagina. I would rather have another baby.
As a social worker I run into women of all sorts. The worst are alone and getting older. They haven't got the message. No man, no children, they are sand in the wind. My husband can r**e me all he wants. I am not sand in the wind. I'm his woman, and happen to also be his wife. I am his 'mujer' and he fucks me.
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