Post Orgasm Bliss

I discovered my true nature later in life as I was turning 40. Until then I had a failed marriage and a number of relationships with women that had not worked out. As a single guy approaching middle age I wondered if something was missing.

Often I had gay thoughts and desires which I had tried to repress for years. I did not want to be that way but the thoughts aroused me to the point I often masturbated to gay fantasies.

My house is an older home in a city neighborhood close to downtown. I knew most of my neighbors and folks who were out and about nearby. There was an older guy who was always around the area. He was in his late 50's name of Chuck and did lots of odd jobs for people. He even collected liquor bottles to return for cash. He was shorter than I with a skinny and wiry build and a wispy beard,longish hair. I has chatted with him a few times. Finally I hired him to do a number of small jobs around my home and backyard. He was a great worker and easygoing.

It was holiday time and a female friend had bailed on me for a Christmas dinner together letting me know a couple days before. I was left at loose ends. That afternoon I ran into Chuck at the hardware store. We chit chatted then he asked me if I had Christmas plans. I told him that my plans had been canceled. He looked at me mournfully and said he had no plans either. I felt sorry for him and myself and impulsively blurted out an invitation to my place and I will cook the turkey. He looked surprised then happily accepted. And that is what led up to my gay awakening.

Chuck came over Christmas Day in the afternoon. We had the turkey dinner then were drinking lots of white wine.I surprised him with a g*ft an electric drill which he loved. After effusively thanking me he felt embarrassed as he had brought no g*ft. I told him not to worry I was just happy to give him something. We were talking about something else when I noticed how close we were now sitting on my couch. The wine had given me a warm glow and simmering horniness. Chuck and I were catching each others glance. I started feeling strangely seductive and sexy. I noticed all of his gestures and the way he spoke soft yet husky voice. I tried to fight the emerging attraction and gay desires. The more I tried to fight it the stronger the feeling got. One moment I just surrendered to it. I leaned in and kissed him. He kissed me back and we made out like teenagers.We ended up naked in my bed as I sucked my first cock.Loved how he moaned and how his firm cock filled my mouth. I swallowed his load then he blew me to orgasm and did the same. He gave me another orgasm in the middle of the night. That second orgasm gave me a powerful epiphany and bliss. I realized after that release it was so deeply felt. I knew then not only was I gay but I wanted this guy to be my first boyfriend and lover. And for the next 10 years he was until cancer took him. I have been with other men since and with each one I have felt the same bliss after sex. Once I sleep with a guy I feel connected and if he feels the same way we become lovers.