Caught In A Vise With My Personal Life In Tatters

I am waking up little by little to reality. I'm in my thirties and I found out that my company is not playing even with me. We are all remote so it is hard to know what is going on with other employees. But I was sent by accident a full list of personnel and their salaries, I was supposed to get the list of my employees only.

In talking around it is clear to me that I have been taken advantage of. I stuck to the company during the shutdown upheaval, I kept the wheels turning while others burnt out and left the company. I'm a safe bet, too old to leave, too young to put up with it. I've decided to leave, but jobs aren't as abundant as I would like. The offers I've gotten are for job with no future. I hate to say it, I'm stuck in limbo.

This experience has other fallouts. My sex life is non existent. I was at one time able to pick up a chick and let her go the next day. Now I am stuck with a neighbor in my complex, who is overweight by a mile and wants to play housewife. And I have zero desires for her. I don't care what her tits look like and she looks ridiculous in those panties. I have always wanted a girl with nice boobs and a gym body. The results is that I masturbate and I'm tired of it.

At one point during this long working from home BS, I let a guy suck me. We 'had' sex, and he was the initiator. I haven't quite worked that one of my head yet. It's not really want I want to think about it, letting a guy fuck me. He still calls me and I don't have the balls to cut it of with him.

So here I am stuck in a nightmare. I dream of Jeannie, and have a fat woman cook for me, and I'm pursued by a guy who wants to get something going.