I Still Love My Sister-in-law But I'm Not In Love With Her Anymore

At first an affair, especially with a woman who is off-limits, like your wife's sister, is a rush of energy. You feel constantly aroused. You are obsessed with your lover, with learning every detail about her. When you can steal time together you cannot get enough. It becomes a question of how many times you can make your mistress cum, before you have to rush home to your wife.

Then, all too soon, the regular expectations of a relationship set in. The sex is good...better than with your wife...but it becomes routine. You get jealous of your mistress, wondering if she still lets her husband touch her. Though you don't argue about bills per se, you do at the small scale of negotiating who will pay for the next hotel room, or for the plane tickets if you can fake a business trip.

You wonder whether you are wasting your time, or whether she might be pulling back.

If you secretly gave her a child, you have the worries of parenting, compounded by the fact that you can only watch from the sidelines, while her husband raises your child.

This is about where I am with my sister-in-law, five years into our affair.

I used to wish for the strength to leave my wife, and that my SIL would have the strength to leave her husband. Now, I fear we'd only be setting ourselves up for more of the same.