Not All Of Us Got Lucky

Every man desires a woman. Every woman deserves a man. That's how we were raised. Time treated me bad, I deserved but did not have a man. And man's desire was not for me.

I resorted to writing an add I had published in a lovelorn section of the city newspaper. I did not receive a response. I was destined to being alone, never knowing the pleasures of a man, motherhood.

Too old to be young, I met a man who was a widower and he offered me marriage in return for being his caretaker. He disappeared, good. I turned forty. I chose the alternative of hiring a man. He came to a room in a hotel, it was mechanical, no feelings. I was disgusted with myself.

I came across an add for a small house for sale. I found a photo album in the attic, below an old quilt. The photos were of young college age kids in an orgy. There was a time I would have been horrified, but now I'm jealous.

I resort to self gratification, or hiring a man and renting a room in a hotel.