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Women Only
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Straight Female / 37
It's Only An Empty Feeling Now
Before I start, If you are triggered about abuse, stop.
My father was a drunk. He went to prison for what he did. I was eleven when he r**ed me. It was later, after he was in prison and we had moved to be close to my mother's only sister, that I found out from her that he had r**ed her too. My father is what can be called a serial rapist. Pure unadulterated sexual dominance. And as the target, you never love him as hard as you do as when he is r****g you. It happened to my mother and it happened to me. Even in prison I loved him and my mother did to. It is only because I was so young that she took the steps to have him arrested.
For his ten years in prison I wrote him a long letter of my undying love for him and that I forgave him. To be truthful it is hard to displace him, I don't have a man I want to be close with. And I'm now 37 and my only 'man' is him. I've been without since he was arrested. My mother too, he is the only 'man' in her life.
In college I tried to get intimate with a female roommate. It lasted a few months, but that's not for me. Friends yes, but not sexual. It's not the same. I was young, but every ounce of woman in me came out then, when he held me like that and I felt his dick in me. My mother agrees, you can't really let another man get between your legs.
Now the other part. He was released after twenty years to a halfway house, but prohibited from contacting me. My mother kept me informed. He stepped off the sidewalk into a bus and was killed. I don't feel anything, not loss. My boss at work told me he would normalize me with sex. But I have to open my legs for him and ask him in words to have sex with me. He won't force it on me. I have to beg.
My father was a drunk. He went to prison for what he did. I was eleven when he r**ed me. It was later, after he was in prison and we had moved to be close to my mother's only sister, that I found out from her that he had r**ed her too. My father is what can be called a serial rapist. Pure unadulterated sexual dominance. And as the target, you never love him as hard as you do as when he is r****g you. It happened to my mother and it happened to me. Even in prison I loved him and my mother did to. It is only because I was so young that she took the steps to have him arrested.
For his ten years in prison I wrote him a long letter of my undying love for him and that I forgave him. To be truthful it is hard to displace him, I don't have a man I want to be close with. And I'm now 37 and my only 'man' is him. I've been without since he was arrested. My mother too, he is the only 'man' in her life.
In college I tried to get intimate with a female roommate. It lasted a few months, but that's not for me. Friends yes, but not sexual. It's not the same. I was young, but every ounce of woman in me came out then, when he held me like that and I felt his dick in me. My mother agrees, you can't really let another man get between your legs.
Now the other part. He was released after twenty years to a halfway house, but prohibited from contacting me. My mother kept me informed. He stepped off the sidewalk into a bus and was killed. I don't feel anything, not loss. My boss at work told me he would normalize me with sex. But I have to open my legs for him and ask him in words to have sex with me. He won't force it on me. I have to beg.
- That's Juicy! 5
- Remove It! 13
