Eat Your Vegetables

My neighbor is maybe the most rude, obnoxious, irritating person I’ve ever known. He keeps goats that get loose and crap on my lawn, his kids are bullies to my kids and when I attempt to talk with him about he laughs, drunken party music is played loudly at all hours, he doesn’t store garbage properly so it attracts animals and pests to both properties, and he cut down my tree without permission to create sun on his vegetable garden.

Any interaction with this guy ends up confrontational and he calls me some sort of name and walks away. I can’t stand him or his kids.

I happen to enjoy anal toy play when I have opportunity. It addresses my bisexual needs without cheating on my wife. One day after a frustrating interaction with this AH I had an idea. Why not combine my anal pleasure needs with a bit of revenge. Last saturday night after he had a drunken party (actually it was super early sunday morning, still pitch dark) I snuck into his vegetable garden with some water based lube. I proceeded to lube up cucumbers and zuchini and used them to pleasure my ass. After I’d gotten satisfactorily fucked by his veggies I lubed my cock and stroked hard until I ejaculated all over his tomatoes. I’ve now done this 3 times and I do enjoy watching them pick vegetables knowing the sexual history of his cukes and zukes. Enjoy your “fresh” vegetables motherfucker!