My Mother Molested Me Throughout My Whole Childhood

My Mom is now in jail, but she used to do unspeakable things to me as early as i could remember. Not knowing better i always thought it was normal. When i was 12 our neighbour saw what she was doing as called the police and i went to live with my father (they were divorced).
My confession is that i found some of the videos of me and her and her friends and i get off watching them and now write to her in prison and cant wait for her to be out. i blame her for how i am but also blame myself.