Masturbation

I, 66m, have always been a chronic masturbator. I also have spinal issues and ED due to nerve damage and age. So while my libido is still high, I can't stay hard long, not enough to even penetrate my wife 69f). So we have been finding other ways to satisfy each orally, sexual massage, and masturbating each other.

I finally told her I masturbated a lot since we only have intimate times once a week or two weeks. I don't like that it's not more frequent so I masturbate like every other day. She's not so forthcoming about her masturbation.

I bought her several vibrators to use on herself and for me to use on her. I told her how erotic it is for me to use them on her and I have asked her to show me how she uses them while I masturbate and squeeze and massage her breasts. I usually don't last long. Last Sunday I orally pleaded her and she's usually sensitive after she cums but I said I want to use your toys on you and she let me. I laid down next to her and she started to perform oral sex on me but I couldn't wait and said let me help you and I'll jerk off in your mouth. As I was jerking off I asked if she liked to watch me and said yes to which I said why don't you ever tell me? We've been married over 40 years. She said I don't know.

She was brought up in a catholic household. I think that has something to do with it and I am the only man she's been with (I don't doubt her).

She puts her vibrators in a bag in a dresser drawer. Lately I place the bag in certain positions and check it to see if she's been masturbating. When I find the bag out of position, I get so turned on by it that I end up getting myself off.

Many nights we watch TV separately and lately I have noticed that she's been masturbating while I am in the other room. She doesn't tell me that she doing it, but I know from the sound of her drawer and a couple times I thought I heard her moan which sends me over the edge. I ended up masturbating thinking about her masturbating.

Here's what I don't understand. Why is it so secretive for her to talk about masturbating? Why doesn't she ask me to join? Granted I don't ask her but she knows how much it turns me on.

Any other long married couples experience this?