Straight Female / 38
Messy Angry Divorce
I went through a messy and angry divorce. I hate that man. I hate my life. My kids chose to live with him. Life is miserable. I am certainly depressed.
My friends invited me out for dinner or a drink several times. I finally agreed to go a few months ago. While at the bar, some random guy chats me up while standing at the bathroom line. He is determined to get my number. I am sinfully defiant. He keeps pressing and I continue to be defiant. He finally says ‘you are a miserable person and really need a good fucking to fix you up.’ I was shocked and speechless. I finally spit out ‘you are right, I do need that. I need someone to fuck me like a whore and come back for more for a week.’ He says ‘really, I am here with a friend. Let me tell him to am headed home.’ I told him ‘bring him too!’
What I needed that night was attention. I needed a release from my current day anger and shit. I needed someone to take ownership of me, albeit for a couple of hours during sex.
We drove to one of their houses. We got inside and we started playing. That night and the succession of nights afterwards, turned into ‘fixing Tanya’s attitude.’ These two men and one other friend fucked the misery out of me. They made me cum. I made them cum. They did unimaginable things to me. The wanted ME. I gave these men all of ME. It lasted about 10 days and their desire petered out. But they had accomplished the goal - to fix Tanya.
I have allowed other men in my life, even innocent (non sexual) men at work. I had become the worst version of me and these men righted my ship.
My friends invited me out for dinner or a drink several times. I finally agreed to go a few months ago. While at the bar, some random guy chats me up while standing at the bathroom line. He is determined to get my number. I am sinfully defiant. He keeps pressing and I continue to be defiant. He finally says ‘you are a miserable person and really need a good fucking to fix you up.’ I was shocked and speechless. I finally spit out ‘you are right, I do need that. I need someone to fuck me like a whore and come back for more for a week.’ He says ‘really, I am here with a friend. Let me tell him to am headed home.’ I told him ‘bring him too!’
What I needed that night was attention. I needed a release from my current day anger and shit. I needed someone to take ownership of me, albeit for a couple of hours during sex.
We drove to one of their houses. We got inside and we started playing. That night and the succession of nights afterwards, turned into ‘fixing Tanya’s attitude.’ These two men and one other friend fucked the misery out of me. They made me cum. I made them cum. They did unimaginable things to me. The wanted ME. I gave these men all of ME. It lasted about 10 days and their desire petered out. But they had accomplished the goal - to fix Tanya.
I have allowed other men in my life, even innocent (non sexual) men at work. I had become the worst version of me and these men righted my ship.
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