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Straight Male / 28

Hard Reality: Brother And I Love Each Other More Than Our Spouses

My brother and I grew up very close. Even though we are both married, we still talk daily and share all our secrets. It has gotten to the point where our spouses are suspicious.

Little do they know! We started our sexual relationship many years ago, and we have kept it up ever since.

When my husband complains that I spend hours texting and talking to my brother, I want to slap him and tell him the truth. I love my brother more than I love my husband!

My brother's wife got drunk one night and came home to see us FaceTiming. (It was nothing sexual that time.) She flipped, and actually told him, "Since you spend all your time talking to your sister, why don't you just go and fuck her instead of me?"

He was crying (not from what she said, because we'd been fucking for years already) but from her anger. He couldn't get away that but we met the next day and we did fuck, to spite his wife.

What should we do, just leave our spouses and live openly together? Or continue to suffer in marriages that are wrong for ¡ncestuous siblings?

Also, if we divorce, should we fight for custody of our respective kids, or just bite the bullet and have kids together? I've wanted my brother's baby since before I could drive, to be perfectly honest.

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# 79426 - by Tabetha / May 31, 2025
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Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 31, 2025 at 4:14 AM

My sister and I have been sexual for about forty years, we both got married and had families which grew up and moved out, her husband passed away in his early forties. We had still been sexual even thru all those years of family around us, no one has ever known about us and now she has her house to herself all the time so it is even easier for us. Keep your families together and just see each other when you can, society will never accept your relationship.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 31, 2025 at 7:25 AM

Thank you for sharing your story.

American suburban society would never accept us. If we elope, we will have to move to a major US city where nobody knows that we are siblings, or move to a country with a more open attitude...perhaps somewhere in Europe.

Considering that we really want a family of our own, living apart and carrying on in secret would not allow us to meet our goals.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 31, 2025 at 8:38 AM

Go for your brother, you won't regret it. Family love is pure and natural. It's even in the Bible!

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 31, 2025 at 8:02 PM

I wrote a long comment with different point of views, but all of them suggest that if you have lost your love to your husband, you and everyone else knows your love won't come back and neither of you should give your k!ds an example of a relationship without love. If you've choose your brother before you even had drivers license, that tells it all. You choose wrong man to marry! Don't suffer anymore and divorce him. Peer pressure have never made anyone happy! Do not try to reach to a life what other people want from you. Reach for a life you want to have.

I ask only one question. What will happen when your k!ds move away someday? You two will divorce then. I've seen it happen so many times, because why would you be together then.

You two are also in a very volatile situation if your brothers wife is about to burst like that when she's drunk and you two are just chatting. To be honest, to me it sounds like you two should divorce your spouses asap because it might get worse. What if she one day brings up the "i" word?! To me it sounds she might have already said it to your brother!

Your brothers wife is putting the blame on him by proxy and that proxy is you (or something else that's taking all his time.) That's a really bad sign. Him crying to you, instead of saying anything to her, that's a sign big and bright enough to tell to both of you that they should divorce. It's clear that you and your brother are in a relationship and his wife is just living with him.

I can assure that it will be difficult at first, but eventually, when you're with the one you truly love, it will be so much better than it ever could be with your husband. When I was with my ex husband, I could never plan anything with him. Our plans were "should we buy this or that next". That's not planning, that's just settling to a unhappy situation. That's just living the moment because you feel there's no future. With my brother, even though we are older now, we can plan our future, and the key word is, our future. Not future, but our future. When you and your brother realize it one day what is the difference compared to your previous life with your spouses, you will be so happy!

There's also one good thing that others might not notice. When you're talking about should you fight for custody of your k!ds, it sounds to me that your husband isn't a problem. The problem is your lack of love towards him. And that's a good thing when thinking about the future of your k!ds. Atleast to me it sounded like you would accept to "lose" them to your husband maybe because you trust he could provide them wide and beneficial support through their lives! It's good because even though you don't love him, you can still trust him that he's a good man and good father! I can imagine some people might think that to even considering that is being selfish, but I know situations are never simple and at the moment you and your brothers future is still largely unknown.

If you and your brother decide to move to a bigger city, and you should, not being sure what the future is, the answer is already there. You shouldn't take away your k!ds past and roots. You being 28, I assume they're not very old yet, but they soon will have for example their friends in their home town, and it's very important for them. Also I assume their uncles, aunts and grandparents are living nearby, which is also important for them. You must consider what's best for your k!ds and if you think your husband can provide them more steady life, it would be better to let him have them. It's not like you're giving your motherhood away even if you run away with your brother.

Should you and your brother bite the bullet and go for having your own family. If that's is what both of you want, then yes you should, very much so. You can't really do that when you're separated, neither you can't do that in a neighborhood where everyone knows you two, and I know for personal experience of how difficult it is when being separated like that. If your heart is with your brother, and you're with your husband just by peer pressure or as most say "because of k!ds", then it's time to divorce and pack your bags and move away to a place where you two can be at ease and build your own life together.

Could you live together, and openly? Not in your neighborhood. It would raise suspicions immediately. You should move in together somewhere much bigger place during divorce and get together when things have settled down. In the mean time you could start your own family too. It would be better to find new jobs, new "friends", if your friends are your spouses friends and family, hobbies and such from a place where no one knows about you two. I can say, that if you can go somewhere together with your brother and people are thinking you're together like boy and girlfriend, your life will never be the same again! You can even buy rings for you two, and people will assume you're like husband and wife. There are risks, but the new life if you plan it together, will be so much better than to settle down to unhappy life.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jun 1, 2025 at 12:49 PM

It’s Been going on for 40+ years for my sister and me. No regrets.

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athensgold124

by athensgold124 on Jun 6, 2025 at 8:42 AM

sibling love can evolve into sexual passion. If siblings by blood a baby born from that union may have birth defects, it is best to talk to a genetics expert to discuss all the possibilities for good luck.

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chelobrek

by chelobrek on Sep 7, 2025 at 1:13 PM

First, no matter your relationship with brother - being married to a person, whom you don't love is a bad idea. Get a divorce.
Second, if you think about having children with your brother - first get a genetic screening (both of you). The more full - the better. Birth defects are not some magical things ("if you would have a kid with your sibling - your children would be monsters!"), but there is a possibily. And genetic screening would show risks.
Third, i would personally go for a sibling. You trully love each other. And this is the most important thing.

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