I Want What I Had Growing Up, A Home And Family

Believe it or not I have friends who have turned on me, with hate. Other's have been very gracious. My behavior has split my friend's, I married a man for support and agreed to being the at home wife.

I'm thirty one. I grew up upper middle class. I went to a small private university. All was well until I gravitated into a lifestyle of druqs and dominant lesbians. Like dirty water circling a drain, I went lower and lower. I was rescued by a high school era friend and dried out at a rehab facility.

I agreed to marry him, become a wife, and accept a husband. It's not hard for me, I'm naturally submissive to authority. I'm doing everything I can to gain wright to be healthy enough to become pregnant.

I resent my tattoos. What was I thinking? I have a tattoo that says 'Cunt World'. What was I thinking? I wasn't, it is a tattoo forced on me, by that 'Cunt World'. A badge of honor. A lesbian band my dominant lesbian belonged to.

My husband 'adopted' me from that world. To his world, in a small house in what was once upon a time a suburb and is now close in, tree lined streets, a neighborhood in recovery. Gentrification. I am working with a nutritionist, my target weight is thirty pounds away. I really do want to make my family. Once I'm healthy enough for it.