Straight Female / 36
Didn’t Know What I Was Missing
My late husband and I met in high school and got married not long after we graduated. Our marriage, including our sex life, was wonderful. My husband was the only man I’d ever been with. I never felt that I was missing anything or was unfulfilled.
But after my husband died unexpectedly 2 years ago after 15 years of marriage, I was alone. After a period of grieving, I needed to get out and be social again. My girlfriends were active setting me up with dates. It took a while for intimacy to be part of these relationships.
When I allowed men to be as sexually aggressive as they wanted to be, I learned something very quickly. I had no idea at the time but my late husband’s lovemaking was very sort of quick and I guess somewhat selfish. I don’t say that to be mean. In fairness I was the only woman my husband was with so he did not know any different either. I didn’t know any different at the time, and I still remember him and our lovemaking fondly.
But now I am dating and meeting men who place my sexual needs first. They want ME to have orgasms. They want ME to tremble and moan with pleasure. They treat my body as a temple to be worshipped, not simply an object to use for their pleasure.
My girlfriends now ask why I am not settling down with one man. I tell them, truthfully, because I’m having too much fun. I never knew I enjoyed sex so much because I never had sex like this. I’m enjoying men with big packages and men with expert oral skills and men with wild imaginations and appetites. And even sex partners who are not men (shhhh…my girlfriends don’t know about that). I still miss and love my husband deeply and wish I’d never lost him. But I also love my new sexual freedom and am glad I found it. I’m having so much fun and feel deeply fulfilled…at least sexually.
But after my husband died unexpectedly 2 years ago after 15 years of marriage, I was alone. After a period of grieving, I needed to get out and be social again. My girlfriends were active setting me up with dates. It took a while for intimacy to be part of these relationships.
When I allowed men to be as sexually aggressive as they wanted to be, I learned something very quickly. I had no idea at the time but my late husband’s lovemaking was very sort of quick and I guess somewhat selfish. I don’t say that to be mean. In fairness I was the only woman my husband was with so he did not know any different either. I didn’t know any different at the time, and I still remember him and our lovemaking fondly.
But now I am dating and meeting men who place my sexual needs first. They want ME to have orgasms. They want ME to tremble and moan with pleasure. They treat my body as a temple to be worshipped, not simply an object to use for their pleasure.
My girlfriends now ask why I am not settling down with one man. I tell them, truthfully, because I’m having too much fun. I never knew I enjoyed sex so much because I never had sex like this. I’m enjoying men with big packages and men with expert oral skills and men with wild imaginations and appetites. And even sex partners who are not men (shhhh…my girlfriends don’t know about that). I still miss and love my husband deeply and wish I’d never lost him. But I also love my new sexual freedom and am glad I found it. I’m having so much fun and feel deeply fulfilled…at least sexually.
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