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My Family
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Straight Male / 32
When Love Is Not Enough
My fiancée (F22) and I are due to be married in December. It is not my choice. I love her but I am not in love with her. Marriage is expected by my family, her family, the Christian faith, and American society. Even my job prospects depend on marriage!
The woman I am in love with is my aunt (F48). We have been together since before I met my fiancée. Our age difference has provided cover. No one assumes a man of my age would be interested in a woman old enough to be my mother.
My parents and my fiancée's parents are teasing me about how soon I plan to start a family. It's as if they would countenance the sins of premarital sex and pregnancy out of wedlock if I gave them a grandchild sooner.
The thing is, I already have three beautiful children with my aunt. Her biological clock was ticking, and I knew I would lose her to another man if I didn't give her babies before she menopaused, so we did it.
It is awful having a family in the shadows. I love them so much! I want to pick up my kids from preschool, I want to read with them at the library, etc., etc., but instead, everyone believes my aunt is an irresponsible single parent!
My lawyer has looked into it and the only state where we could have been happy would have been New York.
Yes, one state in the union allows avuncular marriage. I was making plans to move there with my aunt when my GF's parents met with mine. If I didn't propose soon, their daughter would be taken off the market.
I really hoped I could run out the clock on that one, but instead, my parents put their business interests over my happiness. My fiancée is the daughter of my father's business partner.
Because cohabitation is not allowed for Christians, my fiancée and I live separately. But my girlfriend visits nightly. We get the sex we need, we build intimacy, and I get in a little parenting time.
I'm thinking now that maybe I could land a job in a foreign country, have my future wife stay stateside, and move my aunt and my existing kids. I'd have to rent an AirBnB when my future wife visited. It would be expensive but worth it. The formative years for my kids by my aunt won't ever come back.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
The woman I am in love with is my aunt (F48). We have been together since before I met my fiancée. Our age difference has provided cover. No one assumes a man of my age would be interested in a woman old enough to be my mother.
My parents and my fiancée's parents are teasing me about how soon I plan to start a family. It's as if they would countenance the sins of premarital sex and pregnancy out of wedlock if I gave them a grandchild sooner.
The thing is, I already have three beautiful children with my aunt. Her biological clock was ticking, and I knew I would lose her to another man if I didn't give her babies before she menopaused, so we did it.
It is awful having a family in the shadows. I love them so much! I want to pick up my kids from preschool, I want to read with them at the library, etc., etc., but instead, everyone believes my aunt is an irresponsible single parent!
My lawyer has looked into it and the only state where we could have been happy would have been New York.
Yes, one state in the union allows avuncular marriage. I was making plans to move there with my aunt when my GF's parents met with mine. If I didn't propose soon, their daughter would be taken off the market.
I really hoped I could run out the clock on that one, but instead, my parents put their business interests over my happiness. My fiancée is the daughter of my father's business partner.
Because cohabitation is not allowed for Christians, my fiancée and I live separately. But my girlfriend visits nightly. We get the sex we need, we build intimacy, and I get in a little parenting time.
I'm thinking now that maybe I could land a job in a foreign country, have my future wife stay stateside, and move my aunt and my existing kids. I'd have to rent an AirBnB when my future wife visited. It would be expensive but worth it. The formative years for my kids by my aunt won't ever come back.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
