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Straight Male / 60

The Struggle Is Real

Here is my confession. Everytime I open up to my wife sexually, she makes a legitimate excuse for not being intimate which leaves me horny. I come here to read stories to help relieve my horniness and jack off. Then I search Sniffies in the hope physical relief but no luck. The problem is timing is usually off, they live too far away or can't find a place to meet. Then there is the fear of being caught.
Now I'm in a parking lot writing this and checking Sniffies hoping to make connection.
I am so freaking frustrated. Why do I put myself through this. I should just not make anymore advances to her. Just a life of celibacy.

5
# 80881 - by Lonely in Lynchburg / July 24, 2025
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Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jul 24, 2025 at 9:21 AM

Dude, you need to join a gym. Lots of men at the gym don’t mind hooking up. The clubhouse at the golf course is another good one. I also just read a story yesterday or the day before about a guy who got picked up at the local pool showers. The possibilities are endless.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jul 24, 2025 at 10:40 AM

Original Poster here. Thanks for the advice. I thought about that. This is a small town and people talk. I might try my luck at the gym. Not rich enough for the Country Club may not be the right color either, but I know people.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jul 24, 2025 at 11:43 AM

I am going to tell you something that will upset you, but I think you need to hear it.

Leave your wife! If you have trouble finding women who match your sex drive and share your desires, come out as bisexual and start meeting men openly on Sniffies, Grindr, etc. Become the person who can host, the person who says yes!

You are 60. These pages are littered with stories from married men your age or older who endured long periods of celibacy before tasting a forbidden pleasure. It could be an affair with a colleague. It could be sex with a daughter or niece. It could be going to an adult video store arcade and getting a blowjob from a man, or giving another man a blowjob. Whatever the story is, the man is forever changed. His eyes are opened. He has learned what he likes and what is possible.

Then come the shame, the fear, and the inevitable return to a monogamous, now sexless, heterosexual marriage.

How much longer can you expect to have full sexual function (strong erections, stamina)? How much longer can you expect to be attractive enough and active enough to meet women (or men, should you choose)?

Statistically speaking, in 10 to 15 years you will be in a nursing home bed, eating through a tube. If you don't pursue pleasure now, then when?

You can divorce your wife amicably, keep your family intact and, if need be, leave for a larger city where people won't talk.

Choose life. Good luck to you, bro!

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jul 24, 2025 at 11:57 AM

OP here to the poster encouraging me to choose life, thank you. Your thoughtful post made me think. I will consider this because I am very horny and sexually lonely. If I divorce my wife it will devastate our family dynamics. Ruin my legacy and damage my witness. I will probably suffer in silence until my last breath.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jul 24, 2025 at 4:16 PM

I wrote that comment. Thank you for taking time to reply to a stranger on the Internet.

Without at all meaning to contradict you...and when you talk of a ruined legacy, it might be an absolute reality or it might be a fear, and fear would not be something we could overcome through rationalization...I do want to encourage you to consider a different legacy.

What if spending the last 10, 15, 20 years of your life completely happy and completely honest with other people became your legacy? What if your heirs (and others who know you) someday looked to the example of self-awareness, bravery and courage that you had set by amicably divorcing your wife and openly meeting new women (or men) who made you happy in a different way than your traditional wife had been able to?

I, for one, have little respect for the many people I know who lead double lives. The people in "Christian" marriages lasting 50+ years who boast in public but who, in private, succumbed to affairs and grew apart over time. The bisexual or gay men who stayed in the closet and stayed with their wives, because coming out would have been hard and would have required renegotiating things. (These people regularly pop up on Sniffies, seeking quick encounters and then asking for an ongoing but secret relationship, which is obviously not possible, and not emotionally safe for them or for me.)

On the other hand, I have great respect for the 55-year-old who has left his wife and stays in touch with her as well as with their kids, as he adventures through an (admittedly, and sadly, ageist) gay world. That guy has integrity. He's fun. He's open about his desire to discover himself and others. I can't think of a character who would make a better friend or lover.

I wish you clarity and the absence of worry as you think about how to satisfy your sexual desires. I will monitor this thread. No need to reply, but if you do, now or in the future, I will read your update with excitement!

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