Am I Bi Curious, Should I Try??

I’m a 57 year old married straight man , I did go slightly astray at 50 which involved mutual masturbation & anal fingering . I don’t know how fare I would have gone if the older gentleman had not ended up in hospital having a car accident that left him in a wheelchair and moving in with his son.

Now three years ago I started watching porn, to start with it was straight porn, and then progressed to trans porn, then bi porn with two guys one lady … but I found I would get more sexually excited at the guys when they started on each other. At first I masturbated and told myself it’s okay there is a woman involved ( now I’ve been married 20 years and only ever had full on sex with my wife… yes she took my virginity).

Later out of curiosity I decided to watch straight guy tried gay sex porn to see whether that actually got me sexually excited… low and behold it did and I found out I usually got more sexually excited at gay porn & then more the thought of being the bottom.

Now the thing is it turned me on that much I started also playing with my ass and ended up buying myself a vibrating fake 6 by 1 inch fake penis.

Yes and buggering myself with it, I found in fact that using it usually made my hard penis twitch because I liked it, sometimes I even leaked pre cum . Now it got to the point of me also trying my own cum because I thought if ever I went astray again I’d also like to try sucking cock so I better see if I like cum. Again if I’m honest I don’t mind my own , but think the thought of my mouth or ass making another guy cum I find extremely erotic and a turn on so might like it more.

Now of course I wonder what a throbbing real penis might feel like & sometimes wonder if I should try it at least once to get it out of my system . So I guess I’m asking for advice .