Ten Years Ago I Fell For It And I That Fire Hasn't Let Up

It has been ten years now since I was first introduced into the world of cocksucking and the other pleasures of M4M sex. At the time I was the Marketing Manager for an industrial outfit attending a trade show in the Midwest. As usual after the tradeshow the participants got together in the bar. I got into a conversation with another rep and it went late into the night. I found myself in his room with his cock in my mouth and I adopted the position for my first fuck.

I have tried to explain why and what drove me to him. I don't know. Why did I adopt the position? Why did he fuck me and not the other way around? Why did I suck his cock with so much vigor? Why did I let him rub me down afterwards in the shower? Why did I suck his cock again on the bed still wet from the shower? Why when he got hot and bothered did I let him kiss me like a high school virgin?

None of it made sense to me. I didn't feel guilty or embarrassed. I gently touched my ahole to remember the feeling. I looked at myself in the mirror naked, a 44 year old man with a wife and kids at home. What could have attracted me to have sex with another man? And why did I not feel bad about it? Why did I want him to kiss me?

The convention ended the next day and everyone went home. I kept the experience from my wife, but I wasn't able to get interested in her when I got home. She tried, but I couldn't get hard. I lay in bed after she was asleep and masturbated into my hand.

My sexual life with my wife became more and more distant. She went so far as to accuse me of having a girl on the side. None of which was true. It was many many months before I sucked another man's cock, and that was at another out of town affair with another stranger. This time I wanted to, I wanted to hold his cock in my hand, I wanted to suck on his cock, I wanted to get naked and I wanted him to go through with it. I left his room puckered up, walking to my room to lay down and savor the memory of having been fucked. Unlike the first man, he wasn't into kissing or getting intimate. He wanted his cock sucked and he wanted to fuck.

Like I said up above, it's been ten years. My wife and I separated and later divorced without any animosity. I just lost all interest in sex with her. I have become a lot more savvy as to where to go looking, and what type of man makes me want to suck his cock. In all honesty it is a difficult task, to find a man to have sex with. It takes luck and some sort of messaging that I still don't understand. I always suck first, I love to get his cock hard in my hand, I offer myself to him, but he is not always a taker. But when the place is right and the man has that desire, I enjoy being treated to a hard ass fuck. In fact, I want to get fucked. Sex isn't over until he has fucked me and cum in me.

I don't have any social relationship with another man, it is always a shot in the dark. I have no desire to have some sort of emotional connection. But if that man is sitting at the bar, I will walk over and start a conversation. And if he leads I follow his lead, and if he puts his hand on my knee so much the better. Hotels offer the ability to sneak off to a room for the action part. And as far as I'm concerned there is no walk of shame slinking back to my room after midnight. If all that is necessary is right, then some alone time with him, a cock in my hand and some time with him on my back is all I want.