I Didn't Always Accept Who I Am

There are some things I've come to understand. They have always been that way, but efforts have been made to shift the meaning, and lie. An example is 'fuck'. Women cannot 'fuck'. That is 100% a male act, women are 'fucked'. Many other terms have been bastardized, like 'husband' between two men. Or 'wife' between two women.

I worked during my post university life for a man. Three years, I learned and was promoted, I learned to perform. To add value. I was top performer in my group. He was promoted and left me behind. A 'female' was brought in. A far cry from my previous boss.

Over time it became apparent she was in fact underqualified. Promoted out of another department, we got stuck with her. I called my former boss. He agreed to go to lunch. He asked what I wanted from him, he told me he could not undo the mess I was in. All he could do was take me out of the mess, but for that I had to agree.

He started with language. He and he alone was 'the man'. 'He' did the fucking, I did the dishes. My role was to be a traditional wife. Stay home, have kids, give up my career. I didn't think I could do that.

The truth is that I went back to him, accepted his proposal, got married and had kids. It's my life with a husband, a man, children a home, day to day, that has taken me to this place. You cannot change language to pretend things are another way. I'm the 'mother', the 'wife', the 'homemaker'. Nothing about me is anything other than what I was meant to be the day I was conceived. And, I've learned that is my role in this play.