I Didn't Have What It Takes, I Lost My Job.

I was interviewed on campus and was offered a job in internal audit. I had no idea what internal audit was. My first day was all paperwork, and orientation. The department had forty eight members. I was assigned to defalcation. I had to look up the word.

For three months I balanced checking accounts. Thousands of checks. It was boring and stressful. A man came looking for me, he wanted to confirm I had a passport. And he questioned me on international travel. Not his choice, but the Director told him to take me.

The trip was to North Africa, a visa was added to my passport. On the plane I was given a 'For Your Eyes Only' folder. Read it front to back, word for word. I had to pass the test the next morning. We landed and he told me to stay close to him. He gave me a red beret so he could spot me. I spent half the time holding his hand. Everybody had to see I was his girlfriend.

In the hotel I had to pass the test. I had his room, with a pass door to another room to sleep in. He decided what I wore. The first meeting was with lawyers, everything in French. I was completely out of the conversation. We had lunch at the hotel, he told me not to nap. Its how I found out he had entrance into my sleeping room. He woke me up and put me dressed in the shower.

We had a dinner with some people, all in French. I was the little girlfriend. Back at the hotel he had me undress in front of him. If I was his girlfriend I had to show it. Be comfortable undressed in front of him. Then he said I had to sleep with him. He didn't tell me that was on the test. I froze, he walked me to my room and said breakfast at six.

What I didn't know, not then was that a big investigation was happening. And I was being tested. Only after passing these tests was I on the team. My role was his girlfriend, his very dependent girlfriend. And he had me undress and sleep with him. He took me to many places with him, every day was a test, every day I had to learn something.

One day I knew I was in love with him. And sleeping with him made it harder. He wanted me to have no feelings. I told him I loved him. He told me I failed the test. I couldn't work there, I was too sentimental. He got me a job at another company, where all I did was paperwork.

When he was home at his apartment I cooked for him. That way he knew I loved him. I missed the travel, the other countries, meeting people from somewhere else. I have to wait for him to come home, and tell me all about it, after he makes love to me.