Straight Female / 44
From Little Slut To A Frigid Bitch
There has been a lot of guilt about this, and I'm not sure that I've really come to accept it. I was a ninth grader when my father lost his job. He had to take a job where he traveled and he was gone all week, and my mother had to go back to work. I had to go stay with my aunt and cousin after school.
My cousin had never had a girl that close to him and he made me 'show him' and of course he showed me too. It wasn't just looking, it was touching too. He liked me holding his hard dick in my hand, I held his dick until he started to cum. His squirts going all over me, which to him was a lot of fun. I didn't realize it then that I was giving him a hand job.
About that time he decided that a look from the outside wasn't enough. He wanted the full gyno look. He stuck his index finger all the way up into my vagina and touched my butt hole on the way out. I pulled away from him, I'm sure my mouth needed soap after the things I called him, but that just got his dick hard and I lost my virginity to him. He hesitated long enough for me to know he was about to cum, then released himself in me until he had emptied himself completely.
I spent the next month and a half worried sick I was pregnant. To avoid pregnancy I had to let him have anal sex with me. He always made me wash my butt before he was going to have sex with me and he licked my butt before getting on me and stuffing his dick in me. After sex it was my job to wash his dick clean and to prove he was clean to put his dick in my mouth. This happened a whole lot of times, it wasn't a one time thing. Many times he 'missed' his mark and ran his dick in my vagina, but he had learned to pull out and either got up my butt or finish on my back.
I can't tell you how many times, or in how many places I sucked his dick. I feel that I was sucking his dick all the time. I got my tits touched, fingered in the ass, kissed with his tongue down my throat. Anything a young man needs to do to get experience with a girl he did with me. I wasn't a slut only because it was only him and he was family and not some random guy.
I've lived with that guilt for all these years. I wasn't a virgin to my husband, not even close. I could suck cock pretty good when I got married and I instinctively offered him my ass. He didn't understand, I wanted to be fucked in the ass. I needed to be fucked in the ass. That's how my cousin did it, and that's how he trained me. But my husband wasn't an ass fucker and the only way I could get relief was going back to my cousin for an ass fucking and blowing him until he was satisfied.
After my children were born I outgrew much of that sexual tension I felt. I went the other way and my husband went without for many long stretches of time. No hand jobs, no blowjobs, no missionary, no wanting it up my ass. I lost interest in sex all together. I went completely cold to sex.
I blame my cousin for what he did to me. I'm a mid forties frigid bitch because of him.
My cousin had never had a girl that close to him and he made me 'show him' and of course he showed me too. It wasn't just looking, it was touching too. He liked me holding his hard dick in my hand, I held his dick until he started to cum. His squirts going all over me, which to him was a lot of fun. I didn't realize it then that I was giving him a hand job.
About that time he decided that a look from the outside wasn't enough. He wanted the full gyno look. He stuck his index finger all the way up into my vagina and touched my butt hole on the way out. I pulled away from him, I'm sure my mouth needed soap after the things I called him, but that just got his dick hard and I lost my virginity to him. He hesitated long enough for me to know he was about to cum, then released himself in me until he had emptied himself completely.
I spent the next month and a half worried sick I was pregnant. To avoid pregnancy I had to let him have anal sex with me. He always made me wash my butt before he was going to have sex with me and he licked my butt before getting on me and stuffing his dick in me. After sex it was my job to wash his dick clean and to prove he was clean to put his dick in my mouth. This happened a whole lot of times, it wasn't a one time thing. Many times he 'missed' his mark and ran his dick in my vagina, but he had learned to pull out and either got up my butt or finish on my back.
I can't tell you how many times, or in how many places I sucked his dick. I feel that I was sucking his dick all the time. I got my tits touched, fingered in the ass, kissed with his tongue down my throat. Anything a young man needs to do to get experience with a girl he did with me. I wasn't a slut only because it was only him and he was family and not some random guy.
I've lived with that guilt for all these years. I wasn't a virgin to my husband, not even close. I could suck cock pretty good when I got married and I instinctively offered him my ass. He didn't understand, I wanted to be fucked in the ass. I needed to be fucked in the ass. That's how my cousin did it, and that's how he trained me. But my husband wasn't an ass fucker and the only way I could get relief was going back to my cousin for an ass fucking and blowing him until he was satisfied.
After my children were born I outgrew much of that sexual tension I felt. I went the other way and my husband went without for many long stretches of time. No hand jobs, no blowjobs, no missionary, no wanting it up my ass. I lost interest in sex all together. I went completely cold to sex.
I blame my cousin for what he did to me. I'm a mid forties frigid bitch because of him.
