It's Not Logical, But That's What I Went Through, I Wanted Kids

I will tell my story, it didn't start easy. I was sixteen and living with my grandparents, and the guy next door who was just released from prison, came over to me when my grandparents weren't there and r**ed me. As you can imagine it was unpleasant, an invasion of privacy, a feeling of helplessness. He was way too strong for me and he could do whatever he wanted to do, and there was nothing I could do to stop him. He left me and told me to keep my mouth shut.

He continued to r**e me, or have sex if you want to call it that, as long as we lived next door to each other. I didn't have anywhere I could go, and with his record he couldn't get any type of real job to make money. He took his frustrations out on me and I put up with it. The more he r**ed me the more I let him. I took off my own panties and exposed my top to him because he told me he was a 'tit' man.

Everyone thought he was my boyfriend, and I got told to watch out because he was a felon. A lot of good that did for me, he was fucking me and getting away with it. He wanted me to show my ass to him, so when he came over I would push my pants down and turn around so he could get a good luck at my ass, before taking my pants off and letting him fuck me. I didn't resist, or say no, I just hung onto his neck and grabbed on hard when he was ejaculating in me. But I didn't get pregnant.

After a while I asked him why I wasn't getting pregnant, I should have been pregnant by then. He told me that he had been 'snipped' in prison, they gave the prisoners the option. That's when I got upset, mad and angry, all that and I wasn't ever going to be able to get pregnant. It hurt me, I felt betrayed and used by him. I didn't cooperate, I didn't want him to fuck me. It was all useless, why have a boyfriend that can't get you pregnant.

I agree that from this point, all grown up and everything, that behavior of mine was childish, but in my defense I was still a child. I made sure the next guy who wanted me that way had to prove to me that he was able to get me pregnant. I wasn't going to go through all that again, for nothing.