Straight Male / 18
Starting To Get Unhealthy
So I have since my early teen years been a big fan of spanking. Going back to when I was 14 or 15 years under the corona lockdown, when I was staying home from school but my parents where out the whole day.
That’s when I first entered the world of self impact play. And from there it kinda just stuck.
I have extreme fantasies and lust’s about being spanked, going so fare, it feels like I physically can’t control myself when I watch or think about it.
Since my teen years I have also taken to me, the kink of femdom, pegging and Anal or dildo play in general.
I can’t describe how a powerful woman, in control of my pleasure or pain, makes me feel.
But… my problem lies here.
Since I’m 18, I don’t really talk about kinks with my friends, or family.. or anyone for that matter.
I feel kinda embarrassed about it, not wanting anyone to know. And it adds to the embarrassment that I feel shame for liking it up the ass. I’m not gay, I don’t get turned on by men… but a dildo usually happens to represent a dick, so that’s that.
I own a dildo, I have used several times, not feeling guilty or shameful about it, and I know I won’t feel shameful if another person happens to peg me.
I have tried different fetish sites, to try and find a female partner that I could explore these kinks with. A female that will dominate me, or spank me, but they all want money for it, and says it’s because “It’s professional domination”
Fuck off, I’m not paying.
Why is it so hard to find a likeminded female partner. I don’t even want like, genuin sex.
Just dominant play.
If anyone has an idea or something, please comment.
Thanks
That’s when I first entered the world of self impact play. And from there it kinda just stuck.
I have extreme fantasies and lust’s about being spanked, going so fare, it feels like I physically can’t control myself when I watch or think about it.
Since my teen years I have also taken to me, the kink of femdom, pegging and Anal or dildo play in general.
I can’t describe how a powerful woman, in control of my pleasure or pain, makes me feel.
But… my problem lies here.
Since I’m 18, I don’t really talk about kinks with my friends, or family.. or anyone for that matter.
I feel kinda embarrassed about it, not wanting anyone to know. And it adds to the embarrassment that I feel shame for liking it up the ass. I’m not gay, I don’t get turned on by men… but a dildo usually happens to represent a dick, so that’s that.
I own a dildo, I have used several times, not feeling guilty or shameful about it, and I know I won’t feel shameful if another person happens to peg me.
I have tried different fetish sites, to try and find a female partner that I could explore these kinks with. A female that will dominate me, or spank me, but they all want money for it, and says it’s because “It’s professional domination”
Fuck off, I’m not paying.
Why is it so hard to find a likeminded female partner. I don’t even want like, genuin sex.
Just dominant play.
If anyone has an idea or something, please comment.
Thanks
