I Guess After All I'm A Redneck Grandma

My mother grew up in the hills of Kentucky, of a poor farmer family. Her father made ends meet doing labor and handyman work. She was one of seven, in the middle. Unlike her siblings she liked school and liked reading and verbal games. Only later, as an adult did she allow that her mentor and teacher loved on her like a man loves on a girl. My mother had she been born today, would have been an abused victim. But not then, no way that would happen. She ran away with my father, who she met when she was at art school.

I grew up far away from Kentucky, my father joined the foreign service, and me and my siblings grew up all over the world. As siblings, and as we got to the age of sex and marriage, one by one we stayed behind in capitals of other countries. Being the youngest, and only girl, I was close to my mother. I grew up as a 'feminist', a deep resentment of the oppression of women. I went off to college to fight for women's rights and liberation.

I ran head on into an old school male. He did not want a 'man' when he was with me. He discovered, or uncovered, my female nature. He took it as belonging to him, and he refused to wash dishes. He told me straight in my face, I was no use to him, I had better learn cooking. I found myself crying to my mother, with a toddler and one in the oven, doing all the housework and cooking. True enough, I didn't work, or send my son to day care, but still, he refused to help me.

As the years went by, I learned to budget my time, I have four children, I've never had to earn a living, living an envious lifestyle. My grandmother would never imagine, that her granddaughter would be a modern day princess.

My husband is an 'ordinary cuss', a toxic male. I look back and can't believe I voluntarily undressed and took my place beside him. Four children don't come from nothing. My girl daughters are accomplished homemakers, easy with children. The word wife on their forehead. My two sons are headstrong males, married to high school sweethearts taken in the flower of their youth to bear children.

They all have homes overflowing with children, home cooked meals, extracurricular activities. If it's not baseball it's ballet lessons. The center is church and public service. I'm Grandma, and he's Grandpa, the girls stick close to my apron, the boys go hunting. In past generations, my grandfather had to be a man, or everyone starved, my grandmother had seven children, it's my generation that thought different. I can't tell you how happy it makes me that my children are fine men and women, and my grandchildren are boys and girls. All we have to remind us of how my grandparents lived are some old pictures. I still have the smell of the wooden stove in my memory. But my grandkids? that's is ancient from another world.