I Guess I’m A Slut…and That’s Ok

I had a pretty normal upbringing as far as my immediate family, friends, school, etc. The only problem was my uncle…my mom’s brother who visited one summer when I was 10. He m****ted me, three separate times. He didn’t have sex with me but did a lot with his hands and made me do things to get him off. He said things to and about me that were really bad. At the time I was in shock and scared. I never told anyone and have never gotten counseling although I should have.

At some point in my late 20s, I realized that the reason my relationships weren’t working out had a lot to do with the history with my uncle. I would date a guy for a while, maybe up to a few months but then I couldn’t get serious and have real intimacy and I’d end up moving on to someone else. Then that same cycle would repeat.

Now I’ve just sort of given up on any kind of relationships. If I go out with girlfriends or alone, I usually end up going home with a guy I meet just for sex. If he and I meet up again, it’s usually only just for sex. The rest of my life is pretty good. I have lots of friends and a great job but when it comes to my “love life” I go to bars, pick up men go home with them and let them fuck my brains out and use me for their pleasure then a few days later do it all over again. I used to not like that life but I’ve come to sort of embrace it. I do love sex and definitely have much more sexual freedom than my friends who have relationships but boring sex lives. I guess life is full of compromises.