I Probably Should Have Avoided Marrying A Man, But It's Too Late Now

I was twenty and a junior in college when my sister got pregnant, and decided to get married. As soon as the wedding was announced I started to get a lot stress from friends and family as to how was it that my younger sister was getting married before I did. Her pregnancy wasn't at that time public knowledge.

I had a friend in college, a friend. He was five years older than me, and a graduate student. We had worked on a project together in a stat class that we were both in. I knew he wanted something with me and I asked him if he would marry me and get everyone off my back. He gave me a long long lecture about not letting myself be pushed around, but having your younger sister marry before you did was a huge issue for me. In fact that was what I told her when she let me know she was expecting, that now I was the one that had to pay the social price for it.

I had a quickie wedding, like two weeks later and a month before hers. It was a civil wedding, because there just isn't time to put a religious affair together. But I did get married. Up to that point I was in control. But the minute after I said I was getting married my mother asked me if I was going to get pregnant too. That's when it really hit me, he was going to have sex with me.

In one word, it was the worst thing I had ever done. I hated every second of it. I spent the night after he released me in the bathroom. I thought I would be bleeding and I kept checking myself, examining myself for what I thought was a torn vagina. At that moment I didn't really realize that a vagina can take any size and quite a beating, I got both.

Whenever he pulled my pants off in bed I went into a fetal position. Having my butt exposed naked made me feel terrible. Poking around my butt with his penis and finding my hole and inserting himself in me was even more terrible. But I didn't get pregnant. A year later I wasn't pregnant, and my sister already had my nephew. I got slammed up against the sink in the kitchen and he got my pants down and shoved himself in me. Hard. "Now get your ass pregnant". It made him look bad that he couldn't get me pregnant.

Every night I wore long pajamas and tight underwear. He had to fight me to get me so he could have sex with him. The bed was always a mess afterwards, the sheets pulled off the mattress and I would run away if I got away and he would chase me all over the apartment. It didn't even cross my mind that if I let him he would have sex with me on the bed, instead of on the floor of the bathroom. It didn't matter, he had sex with me, and he loved it. He loved chasing me, controlling me, pinning me down, forcing his dick in me. He loved it, but I still didn't get pregnant. He threatened to divorce me.

I got the IUD out, that I had put in right before I got married, and I let him have sex with me on the bed until I got pregnant. Once I was pregnant, I shut the door on him. No more, he got what he wanted, and my vagina was no longer available to him. But, he said fine. "I'll fuck you in the ass". Once was enough and I gave him 'access'. I don't know, but at that time it seemed like he was fucking me every day and twice many of the days. In my mind my vagina was no longer tight and good like he first liked it.

I finished college pregnant and moved with him to our new apartment. My sister had moved across country and my baby was the closest grandchild. I should add here, that with the baby I had to stay home, he wanted me to nurse the baby for a year, but I nursed for nine months. Then, all bets were off, and he got me pregnant again.

It was with my second baby that I had a girl come in to help me. She wanted to be there, to be with me, and she liked being kissed and felt up by me. And I got the urges all day while we were together and we had sex on the sofa, the bed and the bathroom floor. I took it out on her, what I had been through for three years. I couldn't keep my hands off her, and hard sex was something that I wanted. She went along, worked her own pants off, and sometimes with the babies in the same room we ate each other until we hit the mark.

My husband put up with her for a while. A year after the second baby was born. Then he went at me again, this time harder and if I didn't put out, he turned me over and I had to give into him. Anal is just so bad I don't have words for it, it's bad enough in your vagina. Anyway, all this to say I'm pregnant again with my third one. He's the man now.