A World Behind Closed Doors Is Better For Me

My world is in the closet. I have not desire to come out of the closet. I have a need for the conventional world. I can't recall at any point when I had an emotional connection. It has always been a physical world, a fetish I need satisfied. Like many I started early, in junior high with a classmate, moved on to 'bigger' and 'better' in high school. I was attracted to older men, distinguished men. A man with a heavy beard, strong, fit for his age, a man who had as deep a fetish for someone my age. It was about the 'act' itself. I wanted him to fuck me.

That's been the story of my life. I degreed in college, went on to the real world, met a woman that I marred. But always, I was on the lookout for that man to fulfill my need, a man that wanted to fuck me.

Like I said, it's all in the closet. Not once did I meet a man who I wanted to be associated with. I needed a man to fuck me, I was nice to him and sucked him, if necessary I let the man kiss me. But once the 'act' was accomplished, I lost all interest.

And that's the sum of it. Except that today there is a new kind of man out there, one that has a need to advertise, to fly the flag, to march. I can tell you that none of that impresses me. It's immature. A distinguished man in a suit, or a doctor in scrubs, or for that matter a plumber who pays attention to his business. That to me is the man that I want to fuck me.