Strange Love

I got sexualized early on, by climbing the rope in school, it gave me a sensation I'd never felt before, and soon, would try anything to replicate it...
Growing up, we had a woods behind my house, and all the neighbor kids would play back there, a field too, alot would play sports... Not for me. I wanted to play Doctor;
There were 3 girls and one boy, as I had already found my dads porn stash, I had ALOT of ideas!!! After many failed attempts at intercourse, I finally got to deflower all 3 girls, with " R" watching us... And I knew he liked it;
But in doing the girls, I hurt them, not intentionally, so it dawned on me that I needed a grown Woman!!! It so happened I lived with one, my big Sister .
I had accidentally saw her nude and I started watching, soon I discovered my Love for Panties... The girls would not come back in the woods anymore and alot of the time it was him and I, he would talk about how my dick barely fit in sny of them, so I knew he like to see it snd started peeing in front of him, and I knew he was trying to peek, I started letting him watch me get erect, while asking about his Hot Mom... One day I was wearing a pair of my Sisters Panties and told him to feel them, and when he did I turned to face him getting his hand to rub my cock. Soon I had him start jacking me off; after that spying on Her in the shower...
One day we were back there, and others showed up, and he said " do you want me to jack you off"?
I about tripped, nobody really paid attention, except for nosy neighbor, and anytime we went to the woods, he would try and bust on us.
His parents worked during the day and I said we should go in his house... Straight to the hamper and the into his parents bed sniffing and wearing his Mom's Panties I eventually got him to give me oral Lovin', which took it to another level...
I knew he was mine ever since I started letting him watch me get erect, and touching me. Soon I hadhim suck me off while watching my Sister in the shower, fantasizing it was in either his Moms or my Sister's Hairy Cunt, but knowing it was an a boys mouth. It got me even hornier cuz I knew how wrong it was...
I tried to reciprocate, but to no avail. I wanted him to feel it, why I moaned and begged him not to stop...
That went on for years.
I still masturbate about it. And still sniff my Sister's Panties...