I was in a very long relationship forever - like 7 years and I'm only 25 - and it was unbelievably unsatisfying. We broke up about 8 months ago and I don't know, maybe I was so bored with that relationship that I went waaayyy over the deep end afterwards.

I met a man right after that - say about a month and he's the most amazing man I have ever met - Lets call him "Stan" (obviously not his real name).

So Stan is sweet, kind, attractive (read - hot!), good sense of humour - perfect in every way. Except I can't seem to get over the fact that I'm physically larger than him (not by much, maybe about half an inch taller but a good 30 lbs at least) I'm a very curvey girl and he's quite lean so there's that major difference too.

It's to the point where that's all I think about when we have sex and I can't cum to save my life (only once or twice have I actually came and that was with A LOT of help from my little pocket rocket.)

So what have I been doing? Cheating. Badly and with no qualms whatsoever. I don't even feel guilty at all, just afraid to get caught and hurting him.

So pretty much the entire time I've been with Stan I've been cheating on him with another man (Lets call him Steve - again, obviously not his real name) who is about twice Stan's size (not girth - height and muscles!) and have been having wild, explicit sex with him that is satisfying in every way.

And even trickier is the fact that the sex and rapport that I have with Steve is awesome (I feel as though I've known him my entire life and we get along so very well in every way) and if I had the chance I would probabaly leave Stan for him. But... Steve has been with someone else the entire time and actually got married to her in July, while we were cheating... and he called me for some wild sex as soon as he got back from his honeymoon.

So here I am - stuck between Stan who absolutely adores me and would do anything for me but just doesn't turn my crank and Steve who is married and is kinda a jerk sometimes about the whole situation (he demands that I drop everything and bend over backwards to accomodate his and his wife's schedule but won't do the same for me, typical I guess, wants his cake and to eat it too.)

So I've been trying so hard to cut Steve from my life and be faithful to Stan. The funny part is that I don't want any other men, I've never cheated before and would never do it again... unless it's Steve.

I'll go a few days without talking to Steve and resolve to cut it off, to never go back and to maybe just be friends, but then he sends me a dirty text message and I can't help but reply and it starts all over again.

I am going to Hell - in this brightly-coloured, incredibly comfortable and sex-crazed handbasket

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Mar 20, 2009 at 11:15 PM

Wow, thats really confusing. I personally think that you need to talk to "Stan" (he's your current boyfriend right?) Well tell him that you aren't sexually satisfied and that you need him to do certain things to you to please you. Hes not a mind reader so, its up to you to tell him how you feel. Maybe if you guys spend some time experimenting different sexual things, you will find satisfaction in new ways. And as for "steve", if hes a jerk, then obviously you can't BE with him. And shame on you for having sex with a man who's married. AND A NEWLYWED at that. How would you feel if you were his wife? You need to leave him alone before you get a dose of him that you can't handle.. (he gets you pregnant, his wife finds out about ur affair, you lose someone that really cares about you).

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