When I was an infant my stepfather legally adopted me. He died a few months ago and I miss him very much. He was the kindest man I ever met both to me and my mom. He owned a travel agency which my mother and I still operate. While growing up, starting when I was a toddler, my mother and stepfather went on trips very often. They took me sometimes but were away often on trips and cruises since most of the business was and is comprised of large groups of people. They were away a week to ten days every month from the earliest time I can recall. Warren was my stepdads oldest brother and was retired. When they were away Warren would come to our house to watch me all the time. He too was very good to me but I didn't realize until he died how he had manipulated me and sexually abused me. He died in 1996 when I was 13 soon to be 14 and at the time it saddened me greatly. My mother and stepfather were always very protective of me and to some extent overly so. I was their spoiled little girl who got almost everything I ever asked for. They trusted no one with me other than Warren. If for some reason Warren couldn't watch me my mother would stay home with me. By the time I realized how Warren had taken advantage of me for all those years, I didn't have the heart to tell my stepfather or my mother what went on while they were on all those trips. They thought so highly of Warren, I couldn't bring myself to tell them all the things he did with me. It took almost a year after Warren died before I even began to question myself about how I let him take so many liberities with me without ever resisting. While it was all happening it seemed he had me programmed and sworn to secrecey. Even though he was much older than my stepfather I think I was infatuated with him. He spoiled me as much or more than my mother and stepfather did, slowly having me obey his every wish or demand making me feel it was my request.

Warren was married for a short time but never had kids. When he first began watching me he was in his 60's and the eldest of my stepfathers other 4 siblings. He was old but healthy at the time and was like the leader of the whole family. My mother not only trusted him but admired him because of his generosity and all the charitable work he did. Not just with me, he was thoughtful, generous and kind to all of his many neices and nephews. What no one knew is that he was also a pervert and I have often wondered if he molested any of his neices like he did with me so many times. I doubt if he ever had as much time with his necies as he did with me but I still wonder if he ever manipulated any of them. If so, even today I never heard anything bad ever said about him. I am old enough now that it is clear how he did it but I still don't understand completely why I never told anyone. I wasn't stupid but for some unknown reason I never insisted he stop and constantly let him abuse me. It didn't seem like abuse to me at the time because he always made it a pleasurable experience, even as I became older. He never told me not to tell anyone but at the same time made it seem to me that I was the instigator of it all. He had me trained so well over time that he would give me subtle hints at which time I would actually ask him to do things. He was so good to me I participated in anything he wanted to do. He had me asking him to do things to me just by saying a few words to me. He said things like "its time for?" or "would you like?". It seemed it was incripted in my mind, so I would answer him by saying things like "a bath", "a tummy rub". There were other terms he and I used but those were the most common.

Its hard for me to remember things when I was very young and don't think I payed much attention as to what was happening. I know I was naked often and had a bath once or twice a day when he was watching me. He generally showered as I played in the tub of water and I do remember watching him shower. I might have been suprised by it when he first began being naked around me but it was so often I did see him that way, I don't think I thought to much about it. I might have but can't remember if I ever said anything to my mother about it. Everytime I got a bath or anytime the two of us were naked it was made to look like I was the one who had control over it. It was always me who wanted to undress or me who told Warren he needed a shower or that we should take a nap. When we did nap it was always after a bath or shower and we both layed in the same bed naked. Thats when he began touching me but it was always in a soothing way. He would often have my lay on my side and cuddle up to me to rub my back. I did feel his penis at my behind but never gave it much thought. As I got a little older I felt him get erections but had no inkling as to why. I did begin asking him questions and he seemed to explain things to me without alarming me about anything. I remember him telling me his erection was something he couldn't control. He always used the correct words for not only his but also my body parts. I'm not quite sure what I asked him one day and not sure how old I was, but it pertained to his penis. He had just taken a shower and I was still in the tub. As he looked at me he someway got me to ask him what it was called. I suppose thats the first time things really got more intimate than ever. We both dried off and went into my bedroom for a nap. He layed down with me standing next to him and began telling me what his privates were called, starting with his penis and having me say it a few times. I think I was facinated by it and by this time not the least bit inhibited by our nudity together. He got an erection and used that word then told me what his scrctum was and had me touch his testicals having me say the words. He then bent his kness up and exposed his anus to me. Then it was my turn and he used the words vagina, anus, and breasts even though I had no breasts at that time. Thats the only time he ever told me not to tell my parents anything about what he explained to me. He insisted my mother and stepfather would be disappointed since they should be the first ones to tell me these things. I naturally believed him and never said a word.

Warren never used the word sex although we frquently said vagina or penis or even all the other words he told me that day. He didn't wash me after that but I was still in the tub whenever he got a shower and began having me shower with him. He always washed my back but I never washed his until one day when he said he had back pain. He even had me wash his buttocks and the front and back of his legs telling me he had trouble bending over. After about a week I no longer took baths and we showered together all the time. Now as bad as this sounds it was fun for me. He always joked around and made it an enjoyable time. As usual he would ask as a question and say "do we want to?", and I'm not sure how he did it, but then I would say "soap each other". Thats how he got me to begin masturbating him and the word semen came into play. I don't remember ever thinking about sex as a pleasure but do know I was 9 when I had my first orgasm. It was while we were in the shower and he was soaping me. After that things seemed to escalate and he always made it look like I was the one who insisted on it. Aside from the quaint phrases he used he would always make me say "please" and often tell me it was up to me or my idea. By the time I was 11 we were performing oral sex on each other and constantly masturbating one another. When my mother and stepfather were home I frequently masturbated myself and realized how much I enjoyed Warren doing it for me. He never penitrated me fully but began penitrating my anus with his finger. After awhile he had me doing the same to him but never tried to have intercouse. He explained it to me but always told me that is something I should only do with a husband. I was impressed enough to believe him and never gave intercouse a thought. He continually complemented me on my body development and when my breasts developed would get me aroused simply by touch and kissing them. I think I knew by that time that it was a bad thing we were doing but I felt a need for it. As soon as my parents would leave and I knew they wouldn't be back for a week or so I no longer needed him to say anything. I would simply say I need a shower and all he would say is "now?" and I automatically said "please". It was a sad time for me when he died and took many months before I finally realized what he had done. All that time, even when I was 13, I beleived it was my fault. He had a way of turning everything up-side-down and would often tell me he loved me so much he couldn't deny me anything. I was so mixed up just before his death I think I craved his affections and he still had me convinced I started it all right from the beginning of it. Warren is still graciously talked about by the entire family.