what you could do is to forget the past and learn from it. it doesn't matter how many times you stumble, what matters is you always stand up to try again. sex is a gift from god for the married, orgasm is the satisfaction of sex. walk on and be not afraid.
Go to a Sex Therapist! If he does not want to go screw him and leave him. But you need to try first to see if there is a problem or you can be among the people who are asexual.
I had sex with 8 men whle married. most married to. if i had been more of a slut i woiuld have fucked 3 of my bosses. it is as old as time. just be careful on stds. do not get caught. you could have an std or a cyst. i a a horny lady with sevarl cyst i found out that put pressuer on my vagian that makes me horny.. just thnk of the other men when you let him do you. no offense but get drun and spead those legs. do the wife duty... explore new things.. pleasure yourself more.. see a dr.. and enjoy sex is a great gift.