- Funny As Fuck -
Straight Male / 45
Last Night In Manhattan
This is me piecing together last night from photos and phone numbers. All this happened and I'm recording it here for posterity.
Went to a pub on the corner. Nice, mundane. Nothing happened just sipped my pint. Was (I think) a very nice mother daughter having dinner at L'Americain opposite.
Walked and found a fantastic spot. Basement bar in a hotel I think, music popping and the place is full of baddies. The 25yo Sofia Vergara-esque stunner at the bar being entertained by Floyd Mayweather Sr. The table of models, all 5'10... Asian, black and a red head. Women so hot they could be Latina porn stars.
Got talking to a knockout chick from Houston called Diamond. Vibing til she asks me 'my status'. Peters out fast when I tell her I'm married.
The chicks here are incredible.
Been a few hours and it's now drying out. Sometimes after midnight. As I'm leaving a woman with a body looking like it's been drawn by a 13yo boy. Face, tits, arse. She's sat with two guys and I get her number.
Walking down Lex Ave (?) and I ask directions from what turns out to be an older Italian gent and his French trans gf. Go to the bar with them, has a basement bar which is fun. Stood at the bar get chatting to two Russian mills. Very good looking. Brunette with blue eyes and a blonde who looks bored but mildly competitive because I spoke to the brunette first.
The Italian speaks no English and the French trans chick seems to like me. Feels like it could become a party.
Another hot chick, gorgeous Latina who drove here. A comical 20mins as we try to enter her number in my phone. But enjoyed some kissing and staring at her beautiful tits.
Trans and Italian want to leave. Tell them I know one place might still be open (a rooftop bar I went to previous night). Get in a cab. Trans is grabbing my dick and kissing me. Italian dude sat next to her watching. Ok this is different.
Get to rooftop bar, it's closing. An amusing 20mins haggling with the bouncer to let us in. Mayweather Sr is outside this time with a knockout black woman. 'Ah i saw you in (basement bar). I omit the part about Sofia Vergara who he must have been paying for. I try to chat up the black girl in front of him but he gets pissed when I ask for her number. The host of the club - a young black guy - remembers me from yesterday. We get in - not on the roof but another club in the basement which I didn't know was there. Host has clocked off and likes me. We have shots.
Text the latina from the previous bar to see if we eventually got a working phone number. 'Who's this?'. Ha, we just kissed half an hour ago. Talking to a blonde chick in this club, nice hips and arse. Young black host. Tall French trans chick. It's past 4am. This is a different night to normal. Blonde has a bf, dude in a cowboy hat. French trans wants to 'suck my dick' in her hotel. Young black host kisses me in a corner. We get a cab. He has a bf. Can't come back to mine either as my wife is there. Kiss in the cab.
Home, wake up. Look at blurry photos. Look at phone list - New numbers from Russian, the porn star from first bar, the Latina - who can't remember me, the trans chick...
Saturday night in NYC.
Went to a pub on the corner. Nice, mundane. Nothing happened just sipped my pint. Was (I think) a very nice mother daughter having dinner at L'Americain opposite.
Walked and found a fantastic spot. Basement bar in a hotel I think, music popping and the place is full of baddies. The 25yo Sofia Vergara-esque stunner at the bar being entertained by Floyd Mayweather Sr. The table of models, all 5'10... Asian, black and a red head. Women so hot they could be Latina porn stars.
Got talking to a knockout chick from Houston called Diamond. Vibing til she asks me 'my status'. Peters out fast when I tell her I'm married.
The chicks here are incredible.
Been a few hours and it's now drying out. Sometimes after midnight. As I'm leaving a woman with a body looking like it's been drawn by a 13yo boy. Face, tits, arse. She's sat with two guys and I get her number.
Walking down Lex Ave (?) and I ask directions from what turns out to be an older Italian gent and his French trans gf. Go to the bar with them, has a basement bar which is fun. Stood at the bar get chatting to two Russian mills. Very good looking. Brunette with blue eyes and a blonde who looks bored but mildly competitive because I spoke to the brunette first.
The Italian speaks no English and the French trans chick seems to like me. Feels like it could become a party.
Another hot chick, gorgeous Latina who drove here. A comical 20mins as we try to enter her number in my phone. But enjoyed some kissing and staring at her beautiful tits.
Trans and Italian want to leave. Tell them I know one place might still be open (a rooftop bar I went to previous night). Get in a cab. Trans is grabbing my dick and kissing me. Italian dude sat next to her watching. Ok this is different.
Get to rooftop bar, it's closing. An amusing 20mins haggling with the bouncer to let us in. Mayweather Sr is outside this time with a knockout black woman. 'Ah i saw you in (basement bar). I omit the part about Sofia Vergara who he must have been paying for. I try to chat up the black girl in front of him but he gets pissed when I ask for her number. The host of the club - a young black guy - remembers me from yesterday. We get in - not on the roof but another club in the basement which I didn't know was there. Host has clocked off and likes me. We have shots.
Text the latina from the previous bar to see if we eventually got a working phone number. 'Who's this?'. Ha, we just kissed half an hour ago. Talking to a blonde chick in this club, nice hips and arse. Young black host. Tall French trans chick. It's past 4am. This is a different night to normal. Blonde has a bf, dude in a cowboy hat. French trans wants to 'suck my dick' in her hotel. Young black host kisses me in a corner. We get a cab. He has a bf. Can't come back to mine either as my wife is there. Kiss in the cab.
Home, wake up. Look at blurry photos. Look at phone list - New numbers from Russian, the porn star from first bar, the Latina - who can't remember me, the trans chick...
Saturday night in NYC.



