Cheated On My Husband With Coworker For Multiple Years
I have been with my husband since we were 18 years old, and we have been married since we were 23. We've known each other since we were 12. We had a great marriage at first, and we do again, though we wouldn't if he knew the story I'm about to tell. We have one child that we had the first year we started dating, so he is now in college. Nowadays, we are both marathon runners, and we enjoy this hobby together, running together daily. We also share a large friend group, some of whom know about this story.
After we got married, we tried having more kids, but I miscarried four times in our first three years of marriage. This sent me into a deep depression. At the time, I worked in the emergency medicine field, and had a male partner at work that I confided in about my issues. I made the mistake of also telling him that my husband and I grieve very differently, and that our relationship was very strained because of that. We were growing more distant by the day. My partner, who was also married with kids and was about 10 years older, then began emotionally manipulating me to resent my husband for not being the emotional rock I needed while depressed. He made himself available to me at all times of day, and made the excuse to his wife that we were only talking about work. I told my work partner that I needed to get away for a long weekend and just relax, away from work and family life. He told me that if I wanted company, so I didn't feel alone on this trip, that he would gladly accompany me, as a concerned friend. I regrettably agreed. We spent four nights in a lakeside condo, on Lake Superior. I booked a room with 2 beds, thinking we were actually going as friends.
On night one of the trip, we walked to a few nearby bars and got a little more drunk than I anticipated. When we got back to the rental, I began crying hysterically about my losses. My work partner held me and talked to me while I cried for hours. After I calmed down, I said we should have one last glass of wine and then I would be going to bed. We drank that glass of wine, then brushed our teeth and put our pajamas on. We walked to our beds, which were side-by-side, and hugged before we were going to lay down. He hugged me a little firmer and lower than he ever had before. This surprise, along with the alcohol, made me feel lustful. I looked into his eyes and began kissing him. Before I could even think about anything, we were out of our pajamas and on my bed. I began by going down on him, which was something I hadn't done for my husband in probably two years at that point. Eventually, we ended up having sex, finishing in the prone position, which is my favorite. He apparently assumed I was on the pill and came inside me. I couldn't believe what I had done when it was all over. I couldn't sleep the rest of the night, due to an incredible sense of guilt.
The next morning, we went to the store and I bought Plan B. The next two nights went by, as if the sex never even happened. We didn't talk about it at all. I checked in with my husband each day and made up stories about what I was doing up there. The final night, my work partner told me he couldn't stop thinking about how much the first night was amazing, and how he cared so deeply for me. Me, being an emotional wreck, fell for his lies, and we made love two times that night. Those times, he at least pulled out.
For the next few months, we carried on, as if nothing had happened, and I tried to forget about it. I got back on the pill, because I never wanted to get pregnant again. A few months later, I would get my tubes tied, for that same reason.
My husband and I continued to struggle throughout this period, and I continued to share this information with my work partner. After a big fight with my husband, right before work, I made my next big mistake. When work was slow that night, I told my partner that I needed him, like I did on our trip. We wound up having sex three times that night, while on the clock. This began a long stretch of infidelity.
For the next two years straight, I had sex with my work partner 5-10 times per week, depending on how much we could during our work day and afterwards. Nearly all of our coworkers eventually found out about this. I had him over at our house many times when my husband was away. I almost got caught about a year into the affair because I forgot to change the sheets after having sex with my partner on my bed, leaving large stains. My husband questioned me about it, and I told him it was from me masturbating.
The affair came to an end after about two years, as my partner's wife suspected him, setup cameras in their house, and saw us having sex multiple times while he was supposed to be watching his daughter. Soon after, I quit my job, changed career fields, and my partner got divorced. For about the next year, we would periodically meet and have sex. I haven't seen him for 8 years, and my husband is still unaware. I feel a constant sense of guilt.
