- Anything Goes -
Straight Male / 19
My Relationship With My Dad Is Draining And I Don't Know Whose Fault?
Hello people,
I'm a male (19). I need solution (s) of how to handle things with my Dad.
I am a Nigerian with Nigerian parents but now stay with Dad in Ghana.
My parents gave birth to two of us a boy and a girl and I am the youngest and the only boy at Level 100 at one of the universities.
Growing up I love my dad up till now and I have always being fighting for him regardless of my age. All my life I've not known him for a stagnant Job unless my Mummy sometimes tells me that he used to work somewhere with a little Salary. My Dad literally have no source of income for the past decade unless little monthly help from siblings abroad he used to support us. To be honest enough I'm really proud of him not being selfish. They both my parents struggled too hard to raise us and to God be thy glory both of use are doing well academically. My Mum normally had a source of income but was not sufficient. She was like the pillar for our education since my parents were separated. But the worst happened few years ago we lost our mum and started staying with relatives. Things got easy for us and hard for our dad. He is less than 60 and now struggling with a sensitive sense organ but thankfully he is getting better.
I have respected him for one thing and I'll always respect him for that; despite the hardship in his life he never left us and fight with us neither to find another woman such fathers are hard to find.
He has lot of issues I know since we were coming to leave together I proposed to come and leave with his wahala.
Now the issue is my Dad doesn't imagine good things about me;
*He first started calling me a criminal and blaming me the for increase in price of commodities as if prices are always constant cuz he doesn't go to the market and for other stuff calling me criminal. He never trusts me.
*Secondly he started accusing me of talking nicotine cuz of my fearless character and after coming from school or anywhere during the day I sleep a lot. He started making up those accusations always there is a misunderstanding. And threatens to tell the whole family and destroy my reputation because everyone know me as a reserve and soba minded young man.
* Thirdly my dad doesn't understand me, He never believe in me , he doesn't care about how I think and feel about things, He treats me with less value. He always accuse me of wrong things that I'm far from imagining.
Sometimes things he pronounce are things that really hurts me. But still doesn't care.
And I have my own ways I reacts to things that displeased me.
Everything keeps on repeating it self. I'm so hurt that he is doing such things to me till now I am at a point where in I get angry at him easily even if he wants to joke with me. At a point we argue a lot when I get fed up about his treatment towards me. It's like due to the words he tells me always when he is unhappy I keep them in mind and now I can't even tolerate him now. Sometimes when he speak hurtful things against me u sometimes confronts him and after everything I regret. I have to apologise Everytime me fight verbally please don't misunderstand me here.
* I have being disrespectful
* When ever he talks things that are wrong that hurt me I will also talk
* I always try to find my way even he disapprove and sometimes lead to fight all because I know he doesn't know me well.
He is my hero and I can't be behaving like that to him no matter what. I'm trying but he always repeat such.
I know Ephesians 6:2 says for us to honor our parents.
But the same Ephesians 6;4 says for Father not to provoke there Children but funnily our parents doesn't read these ones.
But I am tired of all the fightings, the confrontation, the argument.
Apart from this I want to make it in life and let my father benefit from it cuz he stood by us every step of the way. And I can't archive that without his blessings.
I love him and if there was a way to reset me my heart and my mind for me to humble for him again I'll be happy.
I want to have peace of mind within me for my after every emotional stress he has put me through.
I need advice on reconciliation steps and ways to avoid my dad when ever such situations arises.
I want to calm down and be humble to my dad
I don't want to stress him..
During the period I lost my Mum I was a very young troublesome son so she doesn't have to see a decent man in me and I don't want the same for my Dad He is really trying..
Please help a soul before things get out of hands here.....
I'm a male (19). I need solution (s) of how to handle things with my Dad.
I am a Nigerian with Nigerian parents but now stay with Dad in Ghana.
My parents gave birth to two of us a boy and a girl and I am the youngest and the only boy at Level 100 at one of the universities.
Growing up I love my dad up till now and I have always being fighting for him regardless of my age. All my life I've not known him for a stagnant Job unless my Mummy sometimes tells me that he used to work somewhere with a little Salary. My Dad literally have no source of income for the past decade unless little monthly help from siblings abroad he used to support us. To be honest enough I'm really proud of him not being selfish. They both my parents struggled too hard to raise us and to God be thy glory both of use are doing well academically. My Mum normally had a source of income but was not sufficient. She was like the pillar for our education since my parents were separated. But the worst happened few years ago we lost our mum and started staying with relatives. Things got easy for us and hard for our dad. He is less than 60 and now struggling with a sensitive sense organ but thankfully he is getting better.
I have respected him for one thing and I'll always respect him for that; despite the hardship in his life he never left us and fight with us neither to find another woman such fathers are hard to find.
He has lot of issues I know since we were coming to leave together I proposed to come and leave with his wahala.
Now the issue is my Dad doesn't imagine good things about me;
*He first started calling me a criminal and blaming me the for increase in price of commodities as if prices are always constant cuz he doesn't go to the market and for other stuff calling me criminal. He never trusts me.
*Secondly he started accusing me of talking nicotine cuz of my fearless character and after coming from school or anywhere during the day I sleep a lot. He started making up those accusations always there is a misunderstanding. And threatens to tell the whole family and destroy my reputation because everyone know me as a reserve and soba minded young man.
* Thirdly my dad doesn't understand me, He never believe in me , he doesn't care about how I think and feel about things, He treats me with less value. He always accuse me of wrong things that I'm far from imagining.
Sometimes things he pronounce are things that really hurts me. But still doesn't care.
And I have my own ways I reacts to things that displeased me.
Everything keeps on repeating it self. I'm so hurt that he is doing such things to me till now I am at a point where in I get angry at him easily even if he wants to joke with me. At a point we argue a lot when I get fed up about his treatment towards me. It's like due to the words he tells me always when he is unhappy I keep them in mind and now I can't even tolerate him now. Sometimes when he speak hurtful things against me u sometimes confronts him and after everything I regret. I have to apologise Everytime me fight verbally please don't misunderstand me here.
* I have being disrespectful
* When ever he talks things that are wrong that hurt me I will also talk
* I always try to find my way even he disapprove and sometimes lead to fight all because I know he doesn't know me well.
He is my hero and I can't be behaving like that to him no matter what. I'm trying but he always repeat such.
I know Ephesians 6:2 says for us to honor our parents.
But the same Ephesians 6;4 says for Father not to provoke there Children but funnily our parents doesn't read these ones.
But I am tired of all the fightings, the confrontation, the argument.
Apart from this I want to make it in life and let my father benefit from it cuz he stood by us every step of the way. And I can't archive that without his blessings.
I love him and if there was a way to reset me my heart and my mind for me to humble for him again I'll be happy.
I want to have peace of mind within me for my after every emotional stress he has put me through.
I need advice on reconciliation steps and ways to avoid my dad when ever such situations arises.
I want to calm down and be humble to my dad
I don't want to stress him..
During the period I lost my Mum I was a very young troublesome son so she doesn't have to see a decent man in me and I don't want the same for my Dad He is really trying..
Please help a soul before things get out of hands here.....
# 60771 - by Dimmarc / September 20, 2022
