Too Submissive For My Own Good?
I have always been very sexually submissive. Ive had daddy issues for as long as I can remember, which has played a huge part of my sexuality. I am now married to a husband far older, and live out a lot of fantasies with him. During regular sex I love him to “choke” me, fuck me really hard, and let me call him “master” (I already call him daddy.) But during our more kinky sex, I like to role play race play situations (he is white, I am black.) I especially love plantation role play. I would love to explore these fantasies with other white men one day, especially very country or redneck white men (with daddy’s express permission of course). But Im wondering if thats stupid. I dont want to be hurt or devalued. I enjoy my body being admired and fetishized, not hate fucked.
Another darker aspect of my submissive side is that I sometimes fantasize about my husband going back in time and finding my younger self and claiming me then. Sexually. Like I want 40 year old him to find 8 year old me and fuck her silly, and explode inside her as the door opens and my biological father sees me being claimed by this white man, and me clearly loving it. This fantasy is the one I don’t share with him very clearly, and the one that gets me off the most. Well, actually, a combination of these fantasies gets me off the most. It really bothers me because I know it’s perverted and probably offensive and morally bankrupt to lose myself in these fantasies. I was emotionally neglected by my biological father and never bonded with him, but I was never, ever sexually abused as a child, so I really can’t figure out why I’m like this. What do you think, am I too submissive to the point of being a pervert? Am I just sick or something?