Who doesn't have an Uncle Bubba, with the beer belly and obnoxious belching, or the Aunt Petunia with the bright red lipstick and too-tight pants? We all have at least one person in the family tree we'd all wish would be plucked. If your relatives would make a good comedy routine, then we want to hear about them. This category is for all those stories about loud aunts, drunk brothers, flatulent uncles, and slutty sisters.

Fuck It, I Fucked My Cousin

So what?

Look Nonna is on final weeks so people are taking turns to babysitter kids too young to be left alone so people are always there when it will happen and it was my turn on Sunday. One of my second cousins has severe ADHD and other problems so hes a fucking lot to handle. He was already throwing a tantrum when his mum had to leave but finally by 10pm the fucker was asleep after leaving me with a bruise and a broken cup (somehow he was able to smash a plastic kids cup into a billion pieces like glass, was fun). His mum was apologetic and thankful, dropped me $50 on cashapp too which was nice i guess.

Doorbell rings in the middle of the night and jump scared me watching Saw 7 (i realised she linked her card everywhere so took advantage, not ruin her but two movies and some chicken fries on her). I didnt know to open or not, texted mum and she said my cousin got sent to me to help but noone heard from him for three hours with a yes or no so didnt let me know. Lo and behold, Liam our doofus lovable 19 stoner sibling. He hands me half his blunt right away coughing out a sorry he was late. It was good shit.

He pulled a plastic bag from behind him with a big bottle of Canadian Club in it saying he wasn't there to assist with the terror he can at least attend to the wounds the old fashioned way. We sat out the backyard and got drunk and high, talking Nonna, family and life. Somehow headed to sex talk about great and worse sex until I had his dick in my mouth.

I rode him on the back porch until he cum. Then he did me doggy on the couch and cum again inside me. Then licked my pussy until I couldn't take it anymore, clit was pleasured out sensitive. He got dressed and laughed making me laugh and headed out the door.

Not spoken to him since. But hes a cousin, not like my brother or father. Who cares. It was fun and best fucking sex ive had in someone's backyard.

  • My Cousin Jane .

    I was 10 my cousin Jane was 18 . She was looking after me for the six weeks of the school summer holidays . Jane was starting college in September . In England schools , colleges , and University's close for the summer . She was my oldest cousin . All the others were closer to my age . We only saw her at Christmas at our grandparents party . Really as far as i was concerned . She could have been a stranger . In the first week we were getting to know each other and becoming friends . We went for walks and she took me to cafés . By the end of the week we were laughing and joking . She was telling me dirty jokes . The next week we were horsing arround . She tickled me and i tickled her . We ended up wrestling on the carpet . Jane always won and sat on me . She was always wearing a loose skirt and a blouse . When she sat on me i thought about her pussy and knickers pressing on me . It always made me arroused and gave me an erection . One day when she was sitting on me . She said i could feel her tits . She lifted her bra from them . I put my hands up her blouse . I had only done things with girls of my age . They didn't have tits just tiny nipples . Janes tits were plump and warm . He nipples were hard . My cock was hard and pressing against my jeans . When she stood up she asked if i wanted to see her pussy . She pulled her panties down and lifted her dress to show me . Like the flat chests . The only pussys i had seen were smooth and hairless . Janes was plump with lips and it was hairy . She told me to lay on my back . She pulled my jeans and my boxers down . She touched my cock and stroked it . Then she crouched over me and guided me in to her moist pussy . My first feel of my cock in a soft warm moist pussy . When she started riding me . I was getting sensations i had never felt before . Not like when i masturbated . It did not take long for me to cum in her pussy . For the rest of the holidays she taught me to enjoy sex . She liked me to lick her and give her orgasms before we fucked . My favourite was when she pulled her pussy lips apart to show me her clitoris and tell me how to suck it . Putting my lips round her clit . Sucking and using my tongue gave her the best orgasms . Most days we had sex . As a 10 year old . To me it was like paradise . Jane told me if i had sex with other girls . I had to pull out and not cum in their pussy . Or i could give them a baby . It was fine to cum in her pussy she was taking a tablet to stop her having a baby . One day after 4 weeks when she came to look after me she had another girl with her . She was not pretty and she wore glasses . She was plump . Jane wanted us all to get undressed . She told me the girls name was Pat and she was one of her friends . Pat was 15 and had never done anything with a boy . Jane told her to lay on her back with her legs apart . She told me to wet my fingers and rub Pats pussy . When i was rubbing her pussy Jane was kissing her tits and sucking her nipples . She had an orgasm . Jane wanted me to suck her clit . After her orgasm i fucked her with Pat watching us and masturbating . Jane asked me if i liked doing things to Pat . I did . Jane asked if i would like to do it with other girls . When i told her yes . She told me she had a few friends who had never been with a boy . They were not pretty . She told me something that surprised me . They did things with each other . I had never heard of girls doing that . Now for a few days . When she arrived she had a different girl with her . After i had given Jane an orgasm . She always wanted me to give the girl an orgasm . Now i was licking and sucking their pussy to make them cum . I never got to fuck them . I only fucked Jane . Jane told me i could only fuck her .

    Modern Family

    While in college I had a close friend and this guy kept hitting on both of us. We decided to break him of that habit and told him he had to choose, which one? Or none at all. He said he woke up alone, when he wanted us beside him. He wanted to fall asleep after having made love to us. He dreamt of us sitting together on the sofa nursing his little babies. He could not choose, because he wanted us both.

    Well, bull shit to that. But he convinced us to go out with him together. That way neither one of us would be left out. Our first date was to the movies, and he kept his arm around me while holding her hand. At the movies he kissed us both on the mouth with tongue. Let us know he wanted sex with us. We went with him to his apartment and we all got on the bed together and he started by eating us, first one then the other. He was very hard and he wanted one of us to pull on his dick while the other one put her mouth on it. His hardness did not subside so he put us on our backs and jumped from one of to the other, quickie fucks, and then a quickie on the other girl. He made us decide which one of would go to sleep with his cum inside.

    We woke up under his arms and his hands on our boobs smiling. He asked for a morning fuck and we gave it to him. We took a three person shower and got dressed and went to breakfast. We were now two girlfriends of the same guy. That's the way we lived in college, we both stayed his girlfriends and we dated him together. We had sex together and we cooked and cleaned together. He wanted the traditional wife, cooking cleaning and pregnant. Again we said bull shit to that, but after we graduated we both got pregnant.

    We are traditional wives, we cook and clean together. We have five kids each and we live in a big old farm house with a clothesline out back and a vegetable garden. We turned 30 and he offered to cut it off, but we said no, we aren't done yet. We want more babies in our bellies, at least two more, that way we have a dozen children. We do not want him to cut it off and we agreed when we got together to live as a family not use any form of birth control what so ever. Let nature decide, as long as we are healthy and fertile.

    On the internet we have found other multiwife families, and we keep in touch and share pictures. We have traveled to meet them and we have hosted multiwife families in our house. Not all have as many children, but multiple wives is an opportunity to be very productive. A happy man at the table with all his children there who love him, and his wives attending to all their children and their husband. We would have made good traditional Mormon wives.

  • My Friend Thinks My Family Is Fucked Up And Trying To Fuck Me

    My sister. I love her. We're close.

    My best friend criticises how close i am with my sister and we are a little weird. She's a sex worker and a bit pixie crazy so tends to not conform to the normal. Though none of us do really. From the age of 12 she would ask for help shaving her vagina, there was nothing sexual about it though best friend says thats crossing a line. It taught me safe shaving and she'd spritz her perfume on me and we'd do a model runway walk for fun and tl make sure she is expensive looking.

    At 16 when she learned i had a girlfriend she bought me the magic dick mold to make a dildo of your own dick and she gave one she made of a big black guys cock so my girlfriend "could see what shes missing out on". It was a joke that didn't land from a girl who is all about sex but friend said it was fucking weird. I didn't think so, his sister yells "c**t" at him in the Mall or driving past and i find that fucking weird.

    When I decided to actually use the mold for fun and surprise my girlfriend my sister helped me. I couldn't keep it hard and so she bought me a new one and gave me a soft version of erection assist and showed me a more comfortable way and easier way to get it done. She didn't get me hard, she touched the mold but not my dick and it was just arts and crafts but friend said its blatant she wants to fuck me and gross.

    But he says probably the most fucked up tell is our open doors. I can walk in and borrow cash from her purse next to her bed even if shes rubbing her clit or sucking some dude. It doesn't phase this family and don't blue ball each other. We don't join in or make it fetish, I mean we go to the nude beach as a family regularly so it's not like we haven't seen genitals.

    She isnt grooming me and nothing is wrong. We're just weird. I think hes just not getting it after walking in on her twice rubbing on the couch by accident as I didnt know she was there and told him to come in. He freaked out each time. And she had that fucked up client high as shit jack off on the floor in the kitchen but he isnt family. And he stopped hanging at my house after seeing mums vagina maybe 50 times as she is either cooling off in the heat or walking bathroom to room to change.

    Its vaginas. He needs to get over it.

    She Asked For It And I Enjoyed

    My mother drank too much and her one job was to keep me safe. She failed and I was subject to abuse of all types from the age of 6 to 10 years old.
    My father divorced her because of her love of the bottle and partying, I read the divorce petition, she slept with so many and left me in so many desperate situations.
    When I was 10 my father and his sister got custody of me and the abuse from older friends of my mother stopped.
    Before long my mum was allowed to see me once a week . She was sober and things were nice. Then my dad died, sadly and my Aunt thought it would be better if I went back into care if my mother couldn't cope.
    My mum managed to feed and cloth me with my dads settlement and when I was 16, because I was so unsupported I went straight into a job.
    As soon as I started working my mum started drinking again. Her creepy male friends tried to abuse me but I grew more confident and told them to leave or ill call the police.
    Miraculously thats all that was needed.
    However it didn't solve my mums problem, we came up with a plan that would suit us both, that she would be some sort of mother during the week and the weekends we could both relax. I was just 17 ffs and she was only 35 .
    She kept her word mon- fri she provided meals, the house was clean, I had clean clothes but no love or affection.
    Friday evening she started to drink and she became nicer warmer for the first few drink then she'd pass out.
    Saturday I was out with friends and when I was out, she was out and to be honest she looked hot.
    I would just avoid places she dwelled.
    I would get home before her everytime.
    She would fall out of cars and taxis make her way in and pass out on the sofa.
    I could see a lot of flesh, suspender belts stockings, first off I used to make her comfortable on the sofa then she'd wake up about 6pm and go to bed.
    Then winter came and I worried about her being cold down stairs so we bought a sofa bed for her. On Sept 10 1980 I was putting her into bed in a short cotton dress and I decided it would better if I got her cloths off, I started to take her dress off and she started to become sexual and was in the doggy position.
    Then she said come on baby make me happy I need your cock baby, and she grabbed my cock and although I was a virgin, I knew what to do and my pyjamas bottoms were around my knees, my slut mother pulled her soaking wet black panties aside and offered her hairy pussy to me, and like the bastard I literally am I started to fuck my own mother.
    I need to confess here when I was fucking her I was calling her names, slag, slut, whore , pisshead, and she was loving my verbal abuse.
    " Thats me son!" She growled im wee little slut I fucked all your dads friends, he thought he could change me, I ending up sucking of his lawyer.
    I spanked so much in her and told her I really hate her, I hate you , hate you as I smashed my pelvis into my own mother.
    I collapsed and all of a sudden she has me scissored and says she's so sorry and she'll do anything for me, just dont leave her.

  • Movie Nite

    I have this older sister, Hannah(19) who is incredibly nice looking. Her boobs aren’t too big , but has quite the body. I have to admit that I have jerked off a couple times While thinking about her.

    Every Sunday night we have a family movie night. It’s probably because Hannah is out Friday and Saturday, who knows doing what. But anyways , everyone usually takes showers then gets ready for the movie.

    Unfortunately in the family room there is a sofa and lounge recliner. My parents take the sofa and Hannah grabbed the recliner before I could. I didn’t want to sit with my parents so I lied on the floor.

    While I’m on the floor I glance over to Hannah, lying in the recliner. She’s wearing a tank top, which you could see the side of her boob and a pair of those flimsy shorts. She is looking rather nice. I feel my dick starting to move around , so I go back to watching the movie.

    A few minutes go by and Hannah gets up to go to the kitchen. As she walks by me I take a peak at her bum , getting a good look at where her legs meet her bum. Oh my I thinking.

    Time goes by and she doesn’t come back so I take the opportunity to steal the recliner. Hannah comes back and tells me to get up and I said no. She complains to dad and he just said for us to settle it and be quiet. I’m on the recliner covering the whole thing when she says to move over . I said no then she says fine and sits on top of me.

    The recliner slips back more and to stop Hannah from squishing me I grab her waist. My hands felt so good where they were . Feeling her bare skin just below her boobs. How long can I leave them there before she says something? Unfortunately because of that, my penis started to move around.

    Hannah whispered to me if I liked holding her? She knew very well but not sure if she felt my dick move. Not until she lifted her as up and grabbed my dick to move it over , right in between her cheeks of her ass. Ah that feels better she says. Then as she puts her head back down , she grabs my hand and slowly slides it up over her boob, making sure mom and dad don’t notice.

    I love you , I tell her and she says love you too, as I give her boob a squeeze. My dick is getting harder now , almost to the point of being uncomfortable. Can’t help but feel the heat coming from her pussy. I move my hips around to get some friction on my dick . Hannah gets up slightly and I feel her fidgeting with my shorts. She finds the opening and grabs my dick and pulls it out. Wondering what she’s up to . I then feel moisture and heat on my dick.

    Hannah is rubbing my dick on her pussy. I can’t believe what she’s doing. I feel like I will explode any minute and I tell her that. Before I realize what she’s doing now , I feel my dick sliding into something very warm and wet. She just slid my dick in her with our parents next to us. She told me to be quiet as she slowly started to grind her pussy on me. I feel it getting all wet at the point where we were joined. I’m grabbing her boob and she continues to grind her pussy on me. I tell her to stop immediately or else. And she says or else what? Please stop . That just got her going more. Hannah , I beg you to stop. She looks back at me and tells me I dare for me to cum in her. Cum in your big sister. Just then I felt the cum just shoot out inside of her . Never feeling so much come out before.

    Now what do we do ? As I feel me dick shrinking and about to pop out. What a mess thats going to create.

    Just then the movie ends and mom and dad get up. Good nite see you tomorrow.
    As they leave my dick slips out of Hannah’s pussy. Hannah slides up my chest and lets the mixture of cum leak out of her body onto me. You better take another shower she says, as she gets up.
    Good nite and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

    I Discovered My Daughter Is An Online Cam Girl And Is On OnlyFans

    I’m a happily married man with 3 children, 2 of whom have left the house. Our sex life has recently tapered off and feeling horny, I went online to find a cam girl to masturbate to. A few pages of scrolling later and I made a stunning discovery… my eldest daughter who is now 23 was camming online with someone whom i presume is her current boyfriend.

    She was naked and doing absolutely filthy things with his cock in her mouth and all her holes. I was rock hard. She is a stunning nubile athletic girl and has tits that defy gravity. Needless to say, I recorded the session on my phone. Later, I followed some links on her bio and it appears that she has an Onlyfans page with a huge following.

    I immediately subscribed and discovered hundreds of pics and lots of videos, all of which i downloaded to my phone.

    It’s so fucking wrong yet whenever I’m fucking my wife, I’m now picturing my naked daughter in my head. Whenever I jerk off, it’s always to my daughters naked photos and videos. So fucking wrong. But I can’t stop. It’s an addiction I have to stop but in the meantime, when I cum the orgasms are so I intense I’ve never felt anything like it.

    Daughter

    One of my daughters, 19, left her phone at home which was rare but out of curiosity I took a look and a chat with her boyfriend shocked me.

    Her boyfriend has a friend that supposedly can't find a girlfriend, he told her about him in the chat. After the usual chit chat it continued him saying that he felt sorry for him and asked my daughter if she could help him feel better. He said his friend was a bit desperate. My daughter said sure. They have arranged a meeting with his friend next Wednesday evening.

    So and less I'm missing something here, her boyfriend is going to share her with his friend and she seems okay with it. Maybe he has other friends too?

    I haven't said anything but if her boyfriend is working in that direction and she's okay with it I guess it won't be long before she's bouncing her head up and down on multiple guys? I don't really mind as long as she's happy.

    I guess if she likes it there's not anything I can do or say.

    I know it's wrong but if she's good with it I have a few friends, older like me, 47, that would like a servicing from a te*n girl. I'll see how things go and will confront her soon see if she would mind or like to. It's enough it's just that, no actual s*x.

    Maybe she found her calling?
    Don't get me wrong she not for me but my other daughter, 16, well she's very wild so...

    My Younger Sister 17

    She wacks off middle aged men for money. Only I know.

  • Caught My Grandmother

    I'm heading to college and it's about a 10 hour drive. On the way is my Grandma's house. I stop and spend the night during my trips back and forth. I left home about a day early to get to Grandma's house and maybe spend the day with her since she lives alone.
    I got there in the middle of the afternoon. I used my key and went in. I heard voices coming from the kitchen. It sounded like someone was with her and it sounded like they were having fun. I peaked around the corner to see me Grandma on her knees and she was sucking some younger man's cock and she looked like she knew what she was doing and she looked like she was loving it. I watched the whole thing until he finished on her face and used her fingers to wipe it off and eat his cum. He picked up his pants from his ankles, thanked her and went out the back door. She closed the back door and I called out and said "Grandma I'm here! I need to pee!" I ran to the bathroom to give her time to fix herself but I was so turned on by what I saw I played with myself quickly until I came! When I came out she was freshened up. She had washed her face but I knew what had happened. I wonder who he was and if this is an on going thing.