Who doesn't have an Uncle Bubba, with the beer belly and obnoxious belching, or the Aunt Petunia with the bright red lipstick and too-tight pants? We all have at least one person in the family tree we'd all wish would be plucked. If your relatives would make a good comedy routine, then we want to hear about them. This category is for all those stories about loud aunts, drunk brothers, flatulent uncles, and slutty sisters.

To Love Him Is Our Calling, To Love Each Other Our Grace

I worked in an office with several other women. I was the baby of the group. Anna was a few years older and she took me under her wing. We talked about everything. I had never had someone that I felt I could just share my most intimate feelings with.

Anna was married to Joe. He was older by a few years and she would say to me that she accepted him as her Lord and Master here on earth. She had surrendered herself to him, surrendered her body and her womb. Where he walked she walked. Man takes woman to be his own. It was so romantic the way she loved him, that's the love that I wanted too.

Anna would comb my hair or hold me to her. When you love you love with all your heart. Her kisses on my face and her arms around me made me feel safe. One day she held me close and she kissed me on my lips and told me she loved me more than she could ever express, to just let her hold me and for me to hold her and show her that I loved her too.

She invited me to her house. She showed me how she served her husband, prepared for him in every way. She clung to him as he made love to her. To come to her on her bed and give myself to him, don't resist, surrendering is God's g*ft, accept him as my Lord and Master here on earth. He made love to me as he had made love to her, and her breath on my shoulder and her voice in my ear, give myself to him, give him my body and my womb. When I next stood I would be his woman too.

The next day at the table she showed me where he sat at the head of the table, where she sat as his woman and wife, and where I was to sit. That was my place at the table. Across from her, on his left and she sat on his right.

We made love, we were as much in love with each other as we were in love with him. We gave ourselves, body and mind, and surrendered ourselves to being in love. Our little nest was a small apartment not far from work. It was our love nest, where man and woman come together and the women loved each other.

One day, after we had made love, and we lay side by side, she whispered to me that she thought she was with child. His seed had taken root. At that moment I felt pangs of jealousy run through me. She held me to her and told me surrender your womb to him. It's time for us. It's our season.

We sit by his side after dinner, watching the children play before their bedtime. We bathe them with care and put them to bed, their father comes to bless them and tuck them in. Our home is silent for a few precious moments. She holds me to her, her arm around my shoulder and we smile down on these wonders falling off to sleep. We hear our Lord and Master hunting for something, so we leave to attend to what he needs.

Hand in hand, we sleep together, as we have for these past years. If his hand reaches for us we deliver ourselves to him. But whether it was me or her, we fall asleep beside each other, our bodies craving the warmth of her, not him, to fall asleep.

  • I Married The Wrong Woman

    I'm still married to her mom, though the spark is long gone. She is married, too, but they fight a lot.

    Whenever she visits and my wife is out, my daughter and I cuddle. Her soft moans suggest that I'm not the only one having sexual thoughts.

    I feel I married the wrong woman. I know that's illogical, because if I hadn't married my wife, I wouldn't have my daughter. I guess the ideal would have been to pair my wife with one of my friends, and then I marry their daughter.

    It's unfair that even if my daughter and I overcome our fears and become lovers, even if we both endure the pain and expense of divorce, even if our attraction survives, even if we have a baby with her, I can never marry her.

    We need to change the laws.

    I would also like a special marriage status, for men who want to be with their wive and their daughter. That kind of "family marriage" would foster a sense of security in everyone! It's also practical, because a wife and a daughter can help raise the children.

    Desires Of An Only Child

    I don’t know if it’s normal or not, but I’m sure someone will tell me. Ever since I was about 11 or 12 years old, I’ve had this relentless fascination with ‘nc3st. Not with parents, only with brothers and sisters. I’ve always fantasised about having that close easy relationship with someone you live with, and for it to be sexual.

    I always originally just fantasised about a younger sister who would explore her sexual desires with me, but as I got older I came around to the idea of a brother to have some fun with too. Now I just wish I had someone to have some fun with behind the wife’s back, as I feel like if it was in the family it’s not really cheating..

  • My Cousin

    Ever since we were young boys about 11 or 12 my cousin had been butt fucking me and he likes to cum inside of me all the time.
    His cock is very big and he shoots big thick loads. We are both married with a family but he is always fucking me in the ass and we run around together all the time and no one knows but us that he fucks me.
    If we are drinking he wants me to suck on his huge cock then take it up the ass and he always shoots two loads up my ass before he is finished.
    We usually fuck outdoors in several places we know. We both carry lube in our pickups and hide it where no one could find it but mostly we drive out in the country to places we know no one will see us I drop
    My pants bend over the tailgate and he gets behind me and fucks my ass until he gets off inside of me two times. Every time cum is running down my legs and dripping off my nuts and I feel so nasty but I like taking his huge cock up my ass.
    Two different times over the years he has set me up to take a strangers cock and both of them fuck me
    Once he told me he wanted me to go look at some land he was going to buy and the man we met there he invited to fuck me and then one other time in a bar out of town he told two men across the bar that I liked taking cock up the ass and we ended up
    In a travel trailer and all three of them fucked me for hours. He made me gag on his big dick while both men fucked my ass then he fucked me.
    I have asked him to do that again but it hasn’t happened yet. He gets off having me naked with my hands tied behind my back so he can abuse both my ass and mouth and a few times he has forced his big cock down my throat but it always makes me gag and I can’t take it
    He talks very nasty when he fucked me and will shove things up my ass that are very large. He is very dominant and he loves to cum in me or on me.
    I am used to him using me and someday he tells me he is going to set me up with a big group of men for a gang bang.

    My Suegra

    My Suegra
    This is an absolute real confession that happened to me.My Mexican mother in law has always been a sexy woman. She was an older version of my wife before my wife had our kids. They looked so similar that once I almost slapped her ass thinking she was my wife.
    We’ve flirted through the years but she’s always had boundaries. She did enjoy talks with me. I was curious how my father in law could pull a hottie like her. Seriously, back when she was younger like 19 to 20 she was fucking amazing. She shared stories of her cheating on my father in law. Actually, he insisted she go out on dates because she was so much younger than him. She told me how sexual she was before and how she use to go to bars in Juarez Mexico to hook up with random guys.
    Sometimes she’d ask me for a shoulder massage or a foot massage. Things like this would go on but no real action besides me purposely resting her other foot on my hard dick.
    She was a very handy woman. She’d do repairs on the house and even hang dry wall. I was married to my wife for about 5 years at this time and didn’t know anything about home repairs. My wife asked her if she could help me put down some tile. She agreed and came over with her tile cutter.
    I was 30 at this time and she was 57. She’s about 5 foot 150 pounds takes great care of herself has a nice perky ass and C cup breast. She has shoulder length hair and a very pretty face.
    One of the best things about my Suegra was her tits. She’s wear low neck tops that I could get a great view of her chest. She always were sexy bras. She’d know I’d look, but as long as I wouldn’t say anything, she wouldn’t care.
    I don’t know if it’s because we were working side-by-side and she knew I was staring down her shirt, but she seemed a little more flirtatious than normal. She was about to make the wrong cut and when I pointed it out to her, she said what do you want to bet that I am right and you are wrong. I don’t know what came over me because I was never this forward, but I told her if I’m right you have to take off your shirt and touch my dick. She laughed shook her head no but I insisted that I was right. She actually thought she was correct when we measured she found out she was not And I told her well let’s do it. She said not here because it was at my house, I thought she was gonna chicken out.
    Good thing we didn’t go through with it at that moment because my wife had got home and was looking at what we did so far my mother-in-law told her we needed to go pick up something from her house which was not too far from mine and we’d be right back. We get to the house I’m thinking OK it’s on. She’s gonna take off her top and jerk me off But we go to her shed and she’s actually looking for these tools. I’m thinking is she kidding or she really gonna do this. She’s on her knees looking for the tool she needs. I’m standing there with a major hard on. She finally finds what she’s looking for and looks up, stares at my dick and says “well I guess you’re ready aren’t you?” I said yes she says we’ll whip it out. I nervously open up my pants and pull out my cock. Her eyes opened up a little bit and said wow that’s pretty thick. I told her you’re supposed to take off your top. She slips off her top and takes off her bra. I assumed that her breasts would look exactly like my wife’s but her breast were actually perkier than my wife’s. After my wife had our two kids, her boobs sagged. Amazingly her mom had four kids and her breast were still very perky. They are Mexican so they have brown nipples, but my mother-in-law‘s were a lighter brown. At first she just held my dick for about 10 seconds and says OK we’re done. I told her no I said you have to make me cum. She rolled her eyes at me and said fine. She was playing like she didn’t wanna do it, but she was horny. She began stroking my dick she spit on it and started rubbing it. She got her other hand, grabbed my balls. I was playing with her boobs and she just kept rhythmically stroking my dick and playing with my balls. I told her stick it in your mouth but she’s a tease and she knows what she’s doing. She said you’d have to lose another bet in order to make that happen. I begged, but she did not but did stroke my dick and play with my balls. I tried to hold back because I wanted it to last a little longer, but when she started rolling my balls with her hand, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I shot my load right on top of her chest. I leaned up against the shelf and my knees were weak. She went and grabbed a rag, cleaned the cum off of her chest. Cleaned her hands up. Wiped my dick off cleaned it really good and says nice cock and put her bra and shirt back on. I was then expected to finish doing the tile work and all I could do is keep staring down her shirt at her titties.

  • Saw Him Jerking It

    One time not too long ago I was at my aunt and uncles visiting talking out side around evening time, nighttime when I walked past my cousins basement window where his room on my way to the bathroom I looked in and saw him going to town on himself(jerking off) I was definitely like whoa what did I just see and looked again kinda to make sure of what I saw and yep he was jerking. I was shocked a little bit but I know it’s normal I do it too obviously but what I wasn’t expecting is that it made me wet and a bit horney. When I left my aunt and uncles place I went home had a bath and masturbated myself thinking of what I saw and shit was it good. Sometimes when I see him now I think about it and touch myself and to be completely honest if the opportunity arose I’d suck his cock no problem

    Sex Life Thru The Years

    My very first sexual experience, besides playing with myself, was with my sister who is three years younger than I am. I was not the one who started it between us, amazed me when she started talking to me one day then switched the conversation over quickly asking me if she could see my dick. I was sitting there thinking surely I did not hear her correctly and asked her what she asked because I did not think it was what I heard, sure enough, wanted to see my dick. She barely had breasts at the time, they were big nipples poking up off her chest but were very fun to play with and she really enjoyed them licked and sucked on. We had an common wall between our bedrooms and there was a hole in it that my dad had just covered with tape when we moved in, my sister poked it out one night and started talking to me thru it. We were living in a mobile home and I swear the walls were only like an inch and half thick with zero sound proofing. We started out playing around with each other daily during that summer break, we would spend hours just running our fingers over each others sexual parts telling each other what felt good and tried out things on each other as well. I still remember the first time I licked her pussy, ran my tongue up and down it a few times and asked her how it felt as if her facial expression was not enough to tell me. She just kept staring down at me and said it feels great, don't stop so I kept doing it and gave her an orgasm like half an hour later. Her facial expression when it started was just amazing, almost looked like she was in pain then it just turned to eye rolling pleasure with her mouth open and the moaning started. I had not pushed her to suck my cock at all, that day after giving her oral she asked me if using her mouth on me was something I wanted her to do. She sucked on me for a few minutes barely even moving her head around or up and down, she just naturally started doing what I told her felt good and was awesome at it a week later. We played a lot that summer and into the school year some whenever we were the only ones home, then came the night she was talking to me thru the hole in the wall and asked if I would put my dick thru it so she could touch it. I had thought about doing it numerous times just as a joke but here she was asking for it, I got myself sideways and pressed myself against the wall and felt her fingers playing with the head, my erection grew quick and a few minutes later she was sucking on it. I was astounded at how good it felt, there was just something about what we were doing that just drove me crazy when I came. Anytime there was a thunderstorm she would come to my room, our parents did not even care she was afraid of them and would never tell her not to sleep with me. We had some amazing oral sex during those times.

    I started college wondering what the hell was I going to do with my life, had no idea what to study but tried my best in the classes, the party life there was quite amazing and one night when my roommate and I got back to our dorm room he laughed and asked me if I wanted a blow job, I was like What? Seriously? he had drank a lot, I had some but barely had a buzz going so he told me he was serious. We both got naked and he started sucking on mine, few minutes later I asked him to flip around and we could sixty nine so he did, I sucked my first cock and enjoyed it. We would spend a lot of time doing it to each other the rest of the year but he transferred schools and did not return in the fall. I never did suck another guy in college and ended up getting married the summer after I graduated from there.

    I had a pretty normal sex life for a married couple right up into my forties then my new job had me on the road quite a bit and staying at hotels, one evening I ended up in the right place at the right time, this guy I was talking to said that there so few women at this event which bummed him out because usually there were so many more and he usually had luck hooking up with one. I casually told him if he wanted a blow job I enjoyed sucking cock, he was not into it at first then came around and asked if I was serious, not ten minutes later he was in my room on the bed and I was sucking it. something about it I just liked and was really having fun, few years later I ended up sucking off my neighbor while we were watching hockey playoffs which brings me to current day. I consider myself bi-sexual in the sense that I only like to suck cock, no other body touching really or kissing and certainly nothing anal. My neighbor really enjoys me doing it to him, told me anytime I had the urge just come over. I have been sucking his for years now and it has been a great release for me sexually. So not sure how long I will keep it up, wife is talking about retiring to Florida, I hate it down there but told her maybe we do a 50 50 thing staying there, she said I could do that but she was planning on all the time. This could be a good thing for me!

    Daddy’s Massages

    So I do dance and cheer in school and I ended up with tons of pains, my knee, calf, thigh, feet. I was hobbling around the house last year hurting and trying to ice my various injuries when my dad asked me what was wrong and I told him my ankle was hurting. He has had issues like that before from the military so he looked at it and said I had tendinitis and needed to relax my muscles because they are pulling my tendons and causing pain. He rubbed my ankle and my foot and up my calf a little. It did make me feel better because he was able to rub my muscles like I couldn’t and he has very strong hands.

    He rubbed my ankle and it felt better. A few days later my knee was hurting and he rubbed my calf and thigh. I felt so good but when he rubbed my thighs I kinda got a little tingly and wet. Whenever I’d complain about pain in my legs he would rub them and my back and it felt better but I kinda feel guilty because it was turning me on a little. He also would rub my neck and back. He gets high up my thigh but hasn’t touched me on my privates or anything like that. He’s always been a good man and never did anything like that to me.

    We were playing around a little recently when he cracked my back for me and started wrestling around. I felt him behind me and I’m pretty sure his dick was hard. After we finished I went to my room and took care of myself. It made me really horny to think he might be turned on by me. I got to admit I’ve thought about him when I play with myself sometimes. Should I try to get him to do more? Maybe open my legs when he rubs them or complain I have a pain in my lower back or butt and see if he’ll touch me more? Maybe wrestle again and see what I can do? But I don’t know what to do to get him to go further. What should I do?

    Ripped From My Gene Pool Forced To Live In Another Dimension

    I'm the maid's daughter. Raised in a house, with four other children, went to school with them, college afterwards. Other that the tincture of my skin and my appearance, I'm in every other way like them. When speaking of the home I grew up in, we were five brothers and sisters. My mother and my stepmother. And my 'father'.

    My birth father was some policeman in Mexico who shared my mother with other policemen. No names, my mother and her friend were left naked in a field miles from where they were taken. Only as an 'adult' did I learn where I came from.

    Now, to my feelings. My mother is the maid. My mother and father are my home parents, as my brothers and sisters. I look in the mirror, cursed by an accident of birth. I'm from a gene pool of 'indigenous' Indians. Ugly is another word. My appearance in the mirror does not fit my internal image.

    There is no medical procedure to hide my Indian appearance.

    I was told by a religious person, God punished me. Another well meaning idiot professor told me I wasn't different. I am a victim of well meaning home parents, I would be better off if the maid stayed where she belonged, the woman of a policeman.

  • Guys, Check Your Fiancée's Background Early. Might Be Your Daughter!

    I met this girl and she was amazing. Easy to get along with, sexy, the total package. We started dating and quickly progressed to an engagement. Looking back, I should have asked many more questions about her background before taking her hand.

    She was much younger than me, a turn-on for both of us. She would cry out, "Fuck me harder, Daddy!" as I fucked her every night. She liked the stability I could provide. It didn't hurt that I have an 8-inch cock, just the right size to really make love to a girl.

    What she did reveal about her past was that we'd grown up in the same small town. It's such a small town that everyone knows everyone else. I would have known of her. But neither I, nor my parents, nor my friends could remember a girl of her age and name.

    When I was 18 I knocked up a girl in our town. Classic high school boy mistake! In those days you went to live with relatives or you went to a religious house, so you could have the baby away from prying eyes.

    My daughter was put up for adoption. I got to hold her when she was born, but that's it. I hadn't thought of her in years.

    My wife would tell me stories of growing up in our town. They were pretty accurate, but then some crucial detail would be wrong.

    I finally started to wonder. I photographed her ID and sent it to my friend who still lives in our town. It was a terrible shock when I opened that e-mail and learned I'd inadvertently married my own daughter!

    She had moved away with her adoptive family when she was young. She didn't want to tell me about her past because a lot of men don't date orphans.

    Neither of us had any idea we were related. I'd forgotten completely about the daughter I'd given up for adoption so many years ago.

    So now we have the weird combination of a marriage that's great but not permitted. I can't stop being with her, of course. I don't do the "Daddy" role-play anymore, however, because that touches a little too close to home!