I must be getting older. I cant fart the way I used to. The last 2 girls I've dated could out fart me by leaps and bounds. It's really difficult to admit being bested by a girl. I've lost my touch. I used to cut loose at will, they were long and loud, and I could clear the room. Even the most veteran farters would admire my abilities, but no more. Now and then I can still crank out a Hall of Shamer, but they are very few and far between. Mostly just pittiful sqeakers.
My advise to all the young folk out there, eat beans,cabbage,pickeled eggs and drink beer. Fart proudly.Fart like you mean it. Fart like there is no tomorrow.
As you are now, so once was I. As I am now so you will be. Funk up the world while you still can.

Disrespectfully Yours,
Cheesecutter