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When I Was A Kid
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When I was just turned 14, in 1974, there was a girl living next door, about 10 or 11, who was very beautiful and self-aware. One day I was watching her playing in the pool with her brothers, fixated on her and feeling probably hornier than I have ever done since. She noticed I was watching her and played up to me and at one point flashed her bum standing sideways to me - her parents were out in the garden as well.
When she was alone in the garden, I showed her my cock from my bedroom window. I didn't know what I was doing, although I should have done, to me it was a kids game about showing each other and I was telling her I wanted to see more. Then I gave her little brother a note for her to meet me somewhere.
The next thing was that her dad was knocking on our door and wanted to see my mum. A few minutes later I was called in to the kitchen, where the girl's mum had already arrived, and my mum was fainted out on the floor. That at least took the anger out of the girl's parents. My mum did not know what to do, she couldn't understand why anyone would do such a thing except twisted monsters. When she later told some of the other mums in the street what had happened, they all said that they would have told the dad to go to hell and it was no big deal, but by then the damage was done.
My dad was away from home at work for months at a time. When he came home, he was angry about what I'd done because I'd upset my mum so much.
My mum ended up getting me an interview with a probation officer. He gave me a typical man-to-man talk and said I should go out more and do some sports. It seemed that not doing any sport was by far the most deviant thing I could have done.
He utterly failed to pick up on what was really going on in my life, and I did not fully come to realise it until decades later. My mum suffered from (supposed) depression and took out all her anger and misery on me, and emotionally I was left to support her. My father had nothing to do with my life and only ever told me off when I did something to annoy him, which was just about everything, including (for example) liking pop music. I was a physical wreck, with asthma abnd chronic sinus trouble, and excema so bad that my legs were permanently caked in blood - this was of course my fault because I would insist on scratching it. I was not suprisingly miserable at home, and also at school where I was bullied non-stop. I took all this for granted because to me it was normal. I had such a low opinion of myself that I never believed that any girl my age would take a second look at me, which is why I picked on a girl much younger.
The way everyone reacted to this incident made me feel guilty and horrible and I thought that everyone who knew might hate me if they knew what I'd done. I don't know if this incident caused me any more damage than what I already had suffered, but it certainly didn't help.
When she was alone in the garden, I showed her my cock from my bedroom window. I didn't know what I was doing, although I should have done, to me it was a kids game about showing each other and I was telling her I wanted to see more. Then I gave her little brother a note for her to meet me somewhere.
The next thing was that her dad was knocking on our door and wanted to see my mum. A few minutes later I was called in to the kitchen, where the girl's mum had already arrived, and my mum was fainted out on the floor. That at least took the anger out of the girl's parents. My mum did not know what to do, she couldn't understand why anyone would do such a thing except twisted monsters. When she later told some of the other mums in the street what had happened, they all said that they would have told the dad to go to hell and it was no big deal, but by then the damage was done.
My dad was away from home at work for months at a time. When he came home, he was angry about what I'd done because I'd upset my mum so much.
My mum ended up getting me an interview with a probation officer. He gave me a typical man-to-man talk and said I should go out more and do some sports. It seemed that not doing any sport was by far the most deviant thing I could have done.
He utterly failed to pick up on what was really going on in my life, and I did not fully come to realise it until decades later. My mum suffered from (supposed) depression and took out all her anger and misery on me, and emotionally I was left to support her. My father had nothing to do with my life and only ever told me off when I did something to annoy him, which was just about everything, including (for example) liking pop music. I was a physical wreck, with asthma abnd chronic sinus trouble, and excema so bad that my legs were permanently caked in blood - this was of course my fault because I would insist on scratching it. I was not suprisingly miserable at home, and also at school where I was bullied non-stop. I took all this for granted because to me it was normal. I had such a low opinion of myself that I never believed that any girl my age would take a second look at me, which is why I picked on a girl much younger.
The way everyone reacted to this incident made me feel guilty and horrible and I thought that everyone who knew might hate me if they knew what I'd done. I don't know if this incident caused me any more damage than what I already had suffered, but it certainly didn't help.
