Something is bothering me. My story is probably dull compared to most of the entries here, but it is 100% sincere. I had my first extramarital sexual experience this weekend. I want to confess to the physical and the emotional experience. I have been married for a long time, my wife is pregnant w/ our first child, and she's abusive and frigid...to make a long story short.
I met a young woman on Craigslist and invited her over to my place. We had been platonic friends for 3 months. I befriended her because my wife is an alcoholic and workaholic and I get lonely. I posted and ad and she responded. I enjoyed helping her with her relationship. On rare occasion, we'd share fantasies online of each other. Some call it cybersex, but I hate that term. I prefer the term sharing fantasies because I think it's more accurate. Typing doesn't resemble sex to me.
My wife was out of town and this girl's boyfriend is in another city, so I invited her over Friday night. We watched a movie together and made out for a long time. I have kissed other women before. My wife stopped kissing me long ago. I try, but she stops it as fast as she can. When a friend kissed me long ago, I felt guilty for about 5 minutes for kissing someone who wasn't my wife, but it felt so natural and right. Like I was getting something I wanted for so long from my wife, but she wouldn't give me anymore.
Eventually, I went farther than I had before and this young woman sucked my cock for a bit. It was only very brief and not to orgasm.
I feel a bit guilty, more for the young woman. I don't want to have sex with her. She's nice looking. I like her. She has an a nice personality and is very intelligent, but she's too young for me to relate to and I feel like I am being someone I am not when I am around her. I feel like I have to alter my personality to make me more palatable to a woman who is inappropriately younger. I'd never date her if I was single, mostly because of the age difference. She has a thing for older men and is really into me.
When she sucked my cock, it didn't feel wrong. It felt right. I felt like I deserve to be desired and feel pleasure. My wife has gone frigid on me and she had a sexual encounter last year. I found a hotel bill and my wife confessed to a drunken encounter. I keep going in circles. My wife treats me like shit, so I don't feel bad about doing with this girl what my wife won't do with me. Before I found out about my wife's encounter, I kept out of trouble by thinking to myself that she would never do this to me. Now that I know my wife fucked another man, I don't feel feel the need to protect her from anything other than STDs and lovechildren.
The marriage is dying. I need to move on, but I am afraid and my wife got pregnant. She's stopped drinking after getting pregnant, but she physically abused me and frequently verbally abuses me. Also, my wife is in denial an thinks we have a great marriage even though she's frequently pissed at me and went frigid. I don't feel loved by her. I definitely don't feel desired. I'm a nice looking man, very hygienic, work out 5x a week and am fairly muscular with a 6-pack. She's put on 60lbs since getting married while I got in better shape. We are both in our 30s and have good jobs. I've tried leaving a few times, but she's uncooperative and won't try to sell the house.
After her last abuse incident, I was preparing to leave and then she had a family tragedy. I wanted to leave to ensure our unborn son has a loving home. I don't think I'll have an issue finding a wife that'll treat him and me better. I have a great job, am decent looking, well educated, have been told I can be charismatic, and have a lot of friends. Now that I have a son on the way, I feel more motivated to give him the homelife he deserves and stop allowing my situation to worsen.
In all areas of life but my marriage (and even then, only recently), I have always done the right thing. I don't want an affair and I don't want to have to sneak around to feel desired and pleasure. The perfect result would be my wife doing everything she wants to and turning her life around. However, I have tried to help her and I cannot make her change or act like a responsible adult. We've tried working on things ourselves and couples counseling. I am mad at my wife for making me feel so lonely and rejected that I feel the need to reach out to the woman to feel accepted physically. I have been reaching out to women on Craigslist for 2 years now building platonic friendships to get what I am not getting emotionally from my wife.
So after finding out that my wife cheated on me a year ago, I finally cheated on her in an indisputable way. Deep down I wanted this. However, I am ambivalent now between not feeling bad because my wife is sleazier and feeling sleazy because 2 wrongs don't make a right.
I don't feel proud of myself and I want strangers to judge me, although please do me a favor and be articulate and intelligent in expressing your views. I want to truly understand your thoughts. If you hate me, please express it articulately and in sufficient detail so I can better absorb your sentiment. A sick part of me craves your verbal abuse. I have done something wrong and I want someone to judge me and tell me I am horrible. I don't know why. Maybe I hate myself. Maybe a naive part of me thinks that if your comments will push me to be responsible.
I hate what my life has become.
I met a young woman on Craigslist and invited her over to my place. We had been platonic friends for 3 months. I befriended her because my wife is an alcoholic and workaholic and I get lonely. I posted and ad and she responded. I enjoyed helping her with her relationship. On rare occasion, we'd share fantasies online of each other. Some call it cybersex, but I hate that term. I prefer the term sharing fantasies because I think it's more accurate. Typing doesn't resemble sex to me.
My wife was out of town and this girl's boyfriend is in another city, so I invited her over Friday night. We watched a movie together and made out for a long time. I have kissed other women before. My wife stopped kissing me long ago. I try, but she stops it as fast as she can. When a friend kissed me long ago, I felt guilty for about 5 minutes for kissing someone who wasn't my wife, but it felt so natural and right. Like I was getting something I wanted for so long from my wife, but she wouldn't give me anymore.
Eventually, I went farther than I had before and this young woman sucked my cock for a bit. It was only very brief and not to orgasm.
I feel a bit guilty, more for the young woman. I don't want to have sex with her. She's nice looking. I like her. She has an a nice personality and is very intelligent, but she's too young for me to relate to and I feel like I am being someone I am not when I am around her. I feel like I have to alter my personality to make me more palatable to a woman who is inappropriately younger. I'd never date her if I was single, mostly because of the age difference. She has a thing for older men and is really into me.
When she sucked my cock, it didn't feel wrong. It felt right. I felt like I deserve to be desired and feel pleasure. My wife has gone frigid on me and she had a sexual encounter last year. I found a hotel bill and my wife confessed to a drunken encounter. I keep going in circles. My wife treats me like shit, so I don't feel bad about doing with this girl what my wife won't do with me. Before I found out about my wife's encounter, I kept out of trouble by thinking to myself that she would never do this to me. Now that I know my wife fucked another man, I don't feel feel the need to protect her from anything other than STDs and lovechildren.
The marriage is dying. I need to move on, but I am afraid and my wife got pregnant. She's stopped drinking after getting pregnant, but she physically abused me and frequently verbally abuses me. Also, my wife is in denial an thinks we have a great marriage even though she's frequently pissed at me and went frigid. I don't feel loved by her. I definitely don't feel desired. I'm a nice looking man, very hygienic, work out 5x a week and am fairly muscular with a 6-pack. She's put on 60lbs since getting married while I got in better shape. We are both in our 30s and have good jobs. I've tried leaving a few times, but she's uncooperative and won't try to sell the house.
After her last abuse incident, I was preparing to leave and then she had a family tragedy. I wanted to leave to ensure our unborn son has a loving home. I don't think I'll have an issue finding a wife that'll treat him and me better. I have a great job, am decent looking, well educated, have been told I can be charismatic, and have a lot of friends. Now that I have a son on the way, I feel more motivated to give him the homelife he deserves and stop allowing my situation to worsen.
In all areas of life but my marriage (and even then, only recently), I have always done the right thing. I don't want an affair and I don't want to have to sneak around to feel desired and pleasure. The perfect result would be my wife doing everything she wants to and turning her life around. However, I have tried to help her and I cannot make her change or act like a responsible adult. We've tried working on things ourselves and couples counseling. I am mad at my wife for making me feel so lonely and rejected that I feel the need to reach out to the woman to feel accepted physically. I have been reaching out to women on Craigslist for 2 years now building platonic friendships to get what I am not getting emotionally from my wife.
So after finding out that my wife cheated on me a year ago, I finally cheated on her in an indisputable way. Deep down I wanted this. However, I am ambivalent now between not feeling bad because my wife is sleazier and feeling sleazy because 2 wrongs don't make a right.
I don't feel proud of myself and I want strangers to judge me, although please do me a favor and be articulate and intelligent in expressing your views. I want to truly understand your thoughts. If you hate me, please express it articulately and in sufficient detail so I can better absorb your sentiment. A sick part of me craves your verbal abuse. I have done something wrong and I want someone to judge me and tell me I am horrible. I don't know why. Maybe I hate myself. Maybe a naive part of me thinks that if your comments will push me to be responsible.
I hate what my life has become.
